Should My Boyfriend Be Ironing His Scrotum?

Feeds:: Posts; Comments

« I’ve learned A New Word Today – Tuesday! – Aunty Bill Profers Tuesday Tips

DIY Tips With Tommy Tapper – #2 Boilers »

Should My Boyfriend Be Ironing His Scrotum? – Oily George Answers!

March 27, 2014 by gingerfightback

Hello Oily,

My boyfriend has taken to ironing his scrotum.

Luckily this is after he’s finished his smalls. Apart from singeing around the pubic area and agonised cries of pain, are there any health issues to consider?

I must say a smooth, crease free sac is a turn on!

Debbie, Nazeing

Oily Replies;

Debs,

Any health issues? Woman are you insane?

Those once crunchy nuts will be flat as a pancake. Is that what you want….cos that’s what will ‘appen! He should do what I do, hang them out on the clothes line to dry naturally.

Admittedly the weather where I am in Sham City is much more conducive to open air drying. Plus people here are used to seeing others “bits” hanging out left, right and centre although admittedly they don’t usually look as battered bruised swollen and misshapen as mine.

The current tender state of said bits is due to a recent Neighbourhood Watch meeting I attended. I appear to have got the wrong end of somebody’s stick. I was told in no uncertain terms that you cannot pick and choose the neighbour you wish to watch. Voyeurism is not on the menu. In that case count me out.

Oily

Posted in Funny, Humor, Humour, UK, Writing | Tagged Anxiety, Britain, Canada, Dating, Humor, Humour, India, Ironing, Men's Health, Relationships, Satire, Scrotums, Stupid, Testicles, USA | 32 Comments

32 Responses

on March 27, 2014 at 11:02 am | Reply joehoover

Can I suggest this: Number 8 should work a treat

http://www.wikihow.com/Remove-Wrinkles-from-Clothes-Without-an-Iron
- on March 27, 2014 at 2:03 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  This is tip top advice Joe – I love the tips on how to close a window!
  - on March 27, 2014 at 2:51 pm joehoover
    
    There is!? I’ve been freezing since I bought my flat, I’ve not learnt how to. If I can also find out how to flush a toilet and how to eat food then living will be a breeze
  - on March 27, 2014 at 2:55 pm gingerfightback
    
    As long as you don’t flush your food and eat your toilet you will be fine! I made that mistake once! Silly me!
  - on March 27, 2014 at 5:23 pm joehoover
    
    Ouch – your crowns would have been shattered
  - on March 27, 2014 at 5:27 pm gingerfightback
    
    Dentyne is a godsend
on March 27, 2014 at 12:39 pm | Reply trixfred30

He could end up like this
http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/15/man-famed-for-10-stone-testicles-dies-after-suffering-several-heart-attacks-4590300/
- on March 27, 2014 at 2:05 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Good Lord! The poor lad
on March 27, 2014 at 12:41 pm | Reply nancytex2013

There’s always steaming, as an alternative. Shut the bathroom door, run the shower on scalding, (nb: do not stand IN said shower). once the close quarters become a hot, steamy mess…voila!: a wrinkle free ballsack!
- on March 27, 2014 at 2:06 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  This advice is exactly why GFB was created – Thank You Nancy!
  - on March 27, 2014 at 2:24 pm nancytex2013
    
    Avec plaisir, mon ami.
  - on March 27, 2014 at 2:27 pm gingerfightback
    
    Bonjour!
on March 27, 2014 at 12:46 pm | Reply Waldo "Wally" Tomosky

The five “Bs” (battered, bruised, black and bluSe balls) are part of those sweet memories that you will cherish for the remainder of your reproductive life. After that you will wish you had them back.
{an excerpt from the Sack of Sad and Sorry Sonnets; “Waldo’s Wicked Wisdoms”}
- on March 27, 2014 at 2:06 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  I’m welling up over here Wally!
on March 27, 2014 at 1:59 pm | Reply El Guapo

This is why I spent the money on those new wrinkle free scrotum. They look brand new, even after washing!
- on March 27, 2014 at 2:07 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Now that is what I call a bargain!
- on March 27, 2014 at 5:54 pm | Reply brickhousechick
  
  LOL, Guapo!
on March 27, 2014 at 4:18 pm | Reply Sandee

Hahahaha! Careful now!
- on March 27, 2014 at 5:01 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  It has a steam function!
on March 27, 2014 at 4:59 pm | Reply susielindau

I’ll have to tell Danny about the clothesline technique!
- on March 27, 2014 at 5:02 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Be careful if your garden is overlooked Susie!
on March 27, 2014 at 5:55 pm | Reply brickhousechick

My husband is a neat freak so he may be tempted to iron his berries! I better not read this to him. 🙂
- on March 27, 2014 at 10:33 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Best not
on March 27, 2014 at 7:32 pm | Reply John W. Howell

While he is at it might as well press that stomach. A few wrinkles there as well and his girlfriend seems turn on by wrinkle free. Wonder if he is the same and brings to mind the question, what part does she press with the steam function?
- on March 27, 2014 at 10:34 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  I dread to think John!
on March 27, 2014 at 9:29 pm | Reply GOF

Very considerate boyfriend accepting responsibility for birth control knowing that heat suppresses his fertility. Someone should start marketing scrotum irons.
- on March 27, 2014 at 10:34 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  The condoms would singe a tad too
on March 28, 2014 at 7:52 pm | Reply The Regular Guy NYC

Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch! Does it smell like seared roast beef afterwards?
- on March 29, 2014 at 6:43 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Pork!
on March 30, 2014 at 4:18 am | Reply Three Well Beings

I’m torn…ouch or ewww!
- on March 30, 2014 at 6:04 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Something else got torn Debra!
on April 10, 2014 at 4:38 am | Reply Jamie Dedes

You’re right. Dentyne IS a godsend.

Some reader comments are almost as entertaining as the posts.