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Posts Tagged ‘Men’s Health’

Hello Oily,

My boyfriend has taken to ironing his scrotum.

Luckily this is after he’s finished his smalls. Apart from singeing around the pubic area and agonised cries of pain, are there any health issues to consider?

I must say a smooth, crease free sac is a turn on!

Debbie, Nazeing
Oily Replies;
Debs,
Any health issues? Woman are you insane?
Those once crunchy nuts will be flat as a pancake. Is that what you want….cos that’s what will ‘appen! He should do what I do, hang them out on the clothes line to dry naturally.
Admittedly the weather where I am in Sham City is much more conducive to open air drying. Plus people here are used to seeing others “bits” hanging out left, right and centre although admittedly they don’t usually look as battered bruised swollen and misshapen as mine.
The current tender state of said bits is due to a recent Neighbourhood Watch meeting I attended. I appear to have got the wrong end of somebody’s stick. I was told in no uncertain terms that you cannot pick and choose the neighbour you wish to watch. Voyeurism is not on the menu. In that case count me out.

Oily

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Oily,

I was thinking of having my prostrate tattooed with a scene from that marvellously wholesome TV series The Little House On The Prairie. Do you think this is a good idea?

Village Idiot, The Village

Oily Replies;

Hello Village Idiot,

Excellent idea! When I was a young man in the Navy, sailing the Seven Seas, I was fascinated by The Waltons and got one of my buttocks with John Boy the other buttock with One of the Other Ones.

To this day I have a little party trick I do where I bend over and re-enact the ‘Night John Boy’ scene.  And I haven’t a clue what cheeky ol’ Granpa Walton is getting up to in the wood cutting shed!

Admittedly its best if everybody who witnesses it is uproariously drunk and/or blind at the time otherwise it can be waaaay too disturbing and will live with you forever.

Nighty Night

Oily

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Gee Junior!

Looks like the home of The President of Th USA has grown a giant ginger moustache to honour Movember!

“Wooooooooo!” Exclaimed Peyton Place III Jr as he skateboarded to the baker’s to buy his pet cat some fish. Without success. So he  visited an insurance broker again with no success!

The-White-House copy

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