The United States of America is a big place. It stretches from here all the way to over there and then down a bit. It’s a bit windy at the moment.
The election for the next President of the US is only a few days away.
This is how it works.
MONEY.
LOTS OF IT!
Then;
The winning candidate must secure a majority of Electoral College votes. The Electoral College also has evening classes in basic car maintenance, conversational Spanish and food hygiene.
Gfb has sent our ace reporter Sooty, now fully fluffed and stitched after his mammoth Olympic Reportage, to bring you the inside story on how the election race is progressing.
Hello Everyone
Last week I was following Governor Romney as he toured the key election state of Ohio. He said to one person “Women are great aren’t they! My wife is a woman and she should know!” Whilst to another he said “Cheese is at the top of my agenda. Yes sirree, right up there alongside hair tonic.”
Earlier in the week I followed The President as he toured the key election state of Ohio. He announced a major new initiative to turn around the USA’s fortunes through intensive punctuation. Ocomma Care.
Sarah Palin’s Thought of The Day
We are happy to announce that Pea Tarty doyen Sarah “Im” Palin is, for a small stipend, letting us in on her thought processes.
Today Sarah wants to ban the chewing of meat on Thursdays.
You are no doubt aware of the Great Seal of The Office Of The President Of The United States. Well for the first time, we are allowed to bring you pictures of the Great Ginger Wig Of The Office Of The President Of The United States.
George Washington – wore a wig and had big buckles on his shoes. 38% gravel. Had a great fear of wood. In all its evil forms.
It is so great to see how well the glove puppet understands our political system.
He has thought long and hard Susie – the answers probably blares out from your TV screens every 5 minutes or so.
Once again, Sooty cuts through the noise and brings us the unvarnished truth.
Though I notice he steers clear of any discussion of what GWs dentures really were made of.
(I’m guessing gravel.)
Something to chew over Guap!
I noticed Sooty will be on tour, Sooty in Space, in London this Xmas. That is unless he gets caught up in all the Jimmy Saville stuff, I’m just waiitng for his name to be mentioned as one of the other culprits
I hope not Joe!
Sarah Palin has thought processes?? My mind boggles at the thought.
They are pretty slow and not full formed Sandy – the amoebas of thought.
I was caught up on the same thought.
Have we touched a nerve?
No, I was only shocked to learn that Sara is able to think, I would have sworn that that was beyond her capacity.
There’s thinking and there’s thinkin’!
I’d like to ask Sooty whatever became of that great website “karma sooty”? It was such fun seeing Sooty, Sweep and Sue doing all that yogic stuff. How’s Mr. Corbett?
I’ve just realised the ginger link! http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Matthew_Corbett
Well done
They are all very well!
Can I just vote for the glove puppet? Because I can’t vote for either of these candidates this time around.
Of course you can Andra!
Your glove puppet makes more sense than most of my friends. I’m in trouble over here! We all are!
Oh Dear! Sooty is a silent puppet as well merely whispering into his master’s ear.
Yep – Washington wore a wig to cover his gingerness.
PS: Thanks Sooty for visiting Ohio.
He’ll be back Frank – weather permitting of course!
Great to see Sooty back in fighting form! George Washington had wooden teeth.
I never knew that!
State of the art 18th century dentures.