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Posts Tagged ‘Romney’

Hello!

If you missed Ginger Sooty’s last report on the US Election you can read it here!

Governor Romney recently toured the key election state of Colorado. He announced a new plan to boost jobs and growth in America by offering generous tax breaks for deep-sea nose hair exploration.

“Nose hair has a great future. I keep mine in a jar. Gonna frack ’em. Wanna see?” He told bemused onlookers.

The President also toured the key election state of Colorado. He announced a major new initiative to turn around the USA’s fortunes through a mass conversion to Buddhism. Okarma Care.

Sarah Palin’s Thought Of The Day – We thought she was thinking, but it turned out to be a spot of trapped wind.

Today’s Great Ginger Wig Of The Office Of The President Of The United States.

#3 Theodore Roosevelt – Big Lad. The Teddy Bear was named after him. Used to beat dissenters with the limbs of Filipinos. Wasn’t in the best of health when he died. Ears made of wheat.

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If you missed Ginger Sooty’s first report on the US Election you can read it here!

The election for the next President of the US is only a few days away and Gfb has sent ace reporter Ginger Sooty to cover it.

Hello Everyone

Governor Romney has toured the key election state of Florida, where he had a meaningful conversation with an orange and squeezed a satsuma in a provocative manner. His hair was very shiny, dare I say….. lustrous?

The President also toured the key election state of Florida. He announced a major new initiative which will use Andean pack animals as a sustainable transportation system. Ollama Care.

Sarah Palin’s Thought Of The Day – Sorry, nothing doin’ today! 

Today’s Great Ginger Wig Of The Office Of The President Of The United States.

#2 Abraham Lincoln – Big Lad. Wore a big hat. If you want to get ahead wear a hat. Famed for his Gettysburg Address. Don’t know why,as it was just 1265 Maple Avenue, Gettysburg, PA.

Slain by an assassin.

Some people have asked Why Sooty?

Here he is debating US Foreign Policy recently;

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The United States of America is a big place. It stretches from here all the way to over there and then down a bit. It’s a bit windy at the moment.

The election for the next President of the US is only a few days away.

This is how it works.

MONEY.

LOTS OF IT!

Then;

The winning candidate must secure a majority of Electoral College votes. The Electoral College also has evening classes in basic car maintenance, conversational Spanish and food hygiene.

Gfb has sent our ace reporter Sooty, now fully fluffed and stitched after his mammoth Olympic Reportage, to bring you the inside story on how the election race is progressing.

Hello Everyone

Last week I was following Governor Romney as he toured the key election state of Ohio. He said to one person “Women are great aren’t they! My wife is a woman and she should know!” Whilst to another he said “Cheese is at the top of my agenda. Yes sirree, right up there alongside hair tonic.”

Earlier in the week I followed The President as he toured the key election state of Ohio. He announced a major new initiative to turn around the USA’s fortunes through intensive punctuation. Ocomma Care.

Sarah Palin’s Thought of The Day

We are happy to announce that Pea Tarty doyen Sarah “Im” Palin is, for a small stipend, letting us in on her thought processes.

Today Sarah wants to ban the chewing of meat on Thursdays.

You are no doubt aware of the Great Seal of The Office Of The President Of The United States. Well for the first time, we are allowed to bring you pictures of the Great Ginger Wig Of The Office Of The President Of The United States.

George Washington – wore a wig and had big buckles on his shoes. 38% gravel. Had a great fear of wood. In all its evil forms.

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