Ginger Sooty filed this from Copacabananananana Beach last night.
Hello,
The Sausage of Destiny with Big Phil
As you will know Brazil are out!
Their coach “Big” Phil blames the magical sausage he put so much faith in pre-tournament.
Nothing to do with the fact that the team spent their time wailing and gnashing their teeth like a cult of poorly coiffured neurotic evangelical Christians who thought the direct route to God could be achieved by kicking the shite out of their opponents.
David Luiz, their louche centre back even prayed to Big Phil’s banger of destiny – to no avail .
Such is the shock in Brazil that yesterday temperatures rose by 2 degrees Celsius in central Rio de Janeiro as the city’s populace becalmed their buttocks in shock at the thrashing handed out by the Raiders from the Rhine. Sashaying will resume Sunday by Government decree.
The football has become increasingly sterile and apart from the collapse of Brazil against the Teutonic Titans nothing of any merit has occurred.
Even that cheating, diving bashtard Arjen Robben of the Netherlandsh couldn’t enliven the bore fesht that was der shemi final with Argnteenar. There were hopesh he would replicate der now infamoush “I tripped ova der Mexican’sh shaushage to earn der penlti,” incident.
Sadly not and the Argentinians went through.
Pope Argie celebrated by blessing his fence.
Other Things You May Have Missed
The Costa Rica team have been offered free Trans Gender surgery as a gift from a grateful nation for reaching the quarter finals. As yet none of the players have taken up this offer.
Chile forward Sancho Pancho Poncho Panpipe Parper was awarded a special medal by FIFA for over coming a dry scalp during the match against Brazil.
Pogues legend Shane McGowan announced his retirement from international football.
Gollum has announced his retirement from international football.
Benedict Cumberbatch announced he would be available for selection for England once again after patching up things with England manager Roy “Watson” Hodgson. Benedict told Gfb, “I need to play off the main striker and not wide left. That way the lads’ll get the best out of me.”
Enjoy the World Cup – nearly finished
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Such an insightful update! I didn’t know sausages played such a big role. 🙂
Sausage Roll! Yes Susie it is the Germans to win on Sunday. They are far from the wurst team (sorry about that!)
The pope has still not creosoted that fence. The weather is gonna create havoc with it
I know, worried sick I am
Has there ever been a previous world cup where so many matches were decided on kicks? As exciting as they are to watch, it’s a shitty way to decide a game — pure luck.
Sadly most knock out games from 1990 onwards end this way Nancy. Fear of defeat is greater than the quest for glory. It bores me rigid as the football becomes very sterile
Yesterday’s was the worst.
Awful – on my birthday too!
Aw, sorry ’bout that! Happy belated bday!
Cheers
Thank goodness that in Ginger Sooty we finally have a football pundit who speaks sense. I for one will be very glad never to see Adrian Chiles on my telly box in shorts again.
Adrian Chiles is the thinking woman’s Jim Bowen
You sure “Big Phil” is talking about a banger? He may be measuring another type of sausage,
The man is a dickhead
Pretty much Germany bent over Brazil and gave it the biggest sausage ever!
The wurst!
I lost interest (for want of a more expressive word) before halftime in the Nederlandische match – thank which ever God you believe in that non-league footie is only a short few weeks around the corner. Less diving, more real football and no pundits 🙂
League 2 man myself but loved our days in the Conference.
I even participated in an office pool! But I thought the magic sausage was going to give Brazil the boost it needed, and so I lost my standing. Nothing is the same since Paul the Octopus died! Whatever are you going to do with the time you’re going to recoup after the World Cup finishes?
I suspect a touch more GFB and a lot more writing Debra.
Sooty truly has the scoop that no other reporter can find. Because of the sausage of destiny, my money is on Argentina.
I hope not Frank – they have been awful to watch but extremely difficult to beat
That’s OK with me because I don’t watch much.