Hello Oily
My boyfriend has taken to ironing his scrotum.
Luckily this is after he’s finished his smalls and shirts. Apart from singeing, wincing and agonised cries of pain, are there any health issues to consider? I must say a creased sac is a turn on!
Debbie, Nazeing
Oily Replies;
Debs,
Any health issues? Woman are you insane?
Those once crunchy nuts will be flat as a pancake. Is that what you want….cos that’s what will ‘appen! He should do what I do, hang them out on the clothes line to dry naturally.
Admittedly the weather where I am in Sham City is much more conducive to open air drying. Plus people here are used to seeing others “bits” hanging out left, right and centre although admittedly they don’t usually look as battered bruised swollen and misshapen as mine.
The current tender state of said bits is due to a recent Neighbourhood Watch meeting I attended. I appear to have got the wrong end of somebody’s stick. I was told in no uncertain terms that you cannot pick and choose the neighbour you wish to watch. Voyeurism is not on the menu. In that case count me out.
Oily
Oddly enough, I had this same exact conversation in the supermarket at the frozen cases with a banker just the other day.
Small world…
What we got is a great big melting pot Guap!
This made me LOL out loud!
Good!
Dear Oily; I really liked your suggestion of hanging the bits out on the line. I gave it a go on the first sunny day we had here. But then – – – I fell off the stepladder. Do you think it would be OK if I stapled them back in place?
Wally – try sellotape to begin with – less painful and the risk of tetanus is minimised. Oily
I ironed my nuts once. I was doing naked ironing and I was pissed. Which reminds me I need to iron a shirt for tomorrow. Thanks I knew this blog would have a use one day.
Firstly, ouch – secondly we are here to serve.
The first line had the same effect on me as “sliding down the razor blade of life” does in the Tom Lehrer song.
It does conjure a certain image….
i’m not sure which I like better …. the thought of someone creasing their scrotum or Oily’s response!
I think they both have a certain gravitas Frank but the thought of a porn baron standing in his socks, ironing his saggy scrotum just pips it for me.
That’s quite an opener you’ve got there, Oily.
Certainly is Kate – have oyu come across any historic references to this ancient pasttime?
I’m speechless. (Perhaps as I should be.)
Are you sure neighborhood watch read the rules properly? I was sure the grant they got for binoculars was to keep the safety of the woman, especially the vulnerable nude ones. Would not want them outdoors with all the bits hanging about… or would we?
I’ll keep an open mind Red!
Love it. If only Neighborhood Watch was so exciting!
It can be! Just follow your heart……