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Posts Tagged ‘Youth’

Should I push or pull

When the weary raincoat of cloudy night has opened before Dawn’s door

There you’ll find hermaphrodite hoodie stirring in the nether region

Dawn turns only to say

“Stop muckin’ about”

“Aah”

Sighs hermaphrodite hoodie

“What I’d give for any port in a storm

Yes brandy and a little drop of port”

“Garr……” slurps Dawn (pint of heavy in hand)

“But your eyes are a sore sight

Stay awhile ye twisted stranger, try an rearrange, yer a bit of a dog in a mang…er”

“Mark me well Dawn! today I’ll play wit’ me ditties an’ yer man there dreams only of havin’ titties

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Graffiti King To Get Youth Doing Something Useful!

photo

Gfb understands the Coalition Government are ready to name respected graffiti artist Banksy as its new back-to-work Tsar.

The Government move to appoint Banksy is certain to cause more controversy in what is seen as a pivotal role in the battle against worklessness.

Ian Duncan-Spliff, Minister for Work and Pensions and a long-term fan of Street Art, sees Banksy’s appointment as an important way of restoring The Conservative Party’s credibility amongst people they call, young. “Respeck Due Ma Man!” Duncan Spliff is rumoured to have said to Banksy at their first meeting.

IDS – The Rasta Pastor

IDS - No Woman No Cry

There are over 1 million unemployed young people or ‘NUUTS’ – Nonchalant, Unenergetic, Uneducated and Twatted.

A Government source revealed, “Spliff thinks he’s onto a real winner here. Stencils are the way forward as far as the Government are concerned. Getting Banksy on board is the Tory equivalent of Noel Gallagher partying at Number 10 with Blair!”

Banksy himself is said to have major plans for getting intergenerational workless families back into employment, including the creation of ‘job bastards’ who will stencil the phrase ‘get back to work for fuck’s sake’ on the front door of long term Jobseekers Allowance claimants every Monday morning until they are in sustainable employment.

Banksy’s Earliest Brush With Fame

Banksy has come under criticism after winning several contracts to supply Government offices with stencilled murals. The Ministry of Defence have commissioned a Banksy mural of a monkey holding a Sex Toy with the words ‘HAVE IT’ emblazoned underneath.. ‘Yes, it’s a controversial piece of art, but it’s great for morale,’ said one high wanking MOD source.

David Cameron is thrilled at Banksy’s appointment. A source told Gfb, “The PM thinks Banksy’s the man. Anyone that can sell a picture of a kid holding a Tesco’s carrier bag for more than a million quid is doing alright in his opinion.”

PM Cameron is delighted

In a statement, Banksy stencilled a picture of a sausage roll on a doorway in Brixton adorned with the phrase “Sausages have feelings too.’

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