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Posts Tagged ‘Women’s Health’

Still Giving Lurve One Year On

Cellulite Blues

Please help me Oily George!

At first I thought cellulite was the lost tribe of Israel. Then my friend Amanda thought it was a low fat spread. She is kinda right as it has spread all over my thighs. I’ve tried lard, monkey innards and even laid a Barbara Taylor Bradford novel over the affected area – alas to no avail.

What can you suggest?

Sue, Melton Mowbray

Oily Replies

What you mean they aren’t a lost tribe of Israel?

In my line of business – ‘grown ups art’, cellulite is indeed a concern as I know that my discerning fans, as they sit peering at the screen, tissue in hand, do not wish to observe what looks like discarded orange peels wriggling in ecstasy. Puts some people off their, eh, stroke, if you will. There is a surgery close to my home here in Silicon Valley which deals with this problem. I’ll send you the contact details. Meantime Sue perhaps you could send me a picture of your breasts lathered in baby oil? It’ll give the surgeons a better idea of which procedure best suits.

Lasciviously Yours

Oily

 

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Hello!

This week’s requests comes from a blogger very close to Gingerfightback’s heart who is having a major operation this week. You can chart her progress in the wonderful blog The Hysterectomy Diaries HERE!

She asked for a Sausage (or Saucisse?) to be added to the beautiful Audrey Tautou and her iconic character Amelie. The idea of adding a sausage to Audrey Tatou is full of double entendre possibilities so we will leave it there.

spoon2

 

IS THERE ANYTHING OR ANYONE YOU WOULD LIKE SAUSAGED? LET ME KNOW!

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