Posted in Art, Poetry, Spain, Writing, tagged "Poetry",, Back Packing, Ireland, Nature, Poems, Rambling, Spain, Spring, The Cold, Walking, Winter, Writing on March 14, 2014| 18 Comments »
My fingers are stiff and sore with the cold
There are no smells from the pines
The winter sun shining through
Carries thoughts of warmth
The resins not warmed enough to ooze
I’d have to carry this pack much further south for such heat now
My shoulders hurt.
My poor fingers
Better get on
Winter brrr…
Posted in Poetry, Spain, UK, Writing, tagged "Poetry",, Ageing, Banking, Love, Poems, Shopping, Spain, UK, Winter, Writing on February 12, 2014| 8 Comments »
Days of cold winter
Of clear light
Of Friday morning’s bustle
Of people in town before lunch
Of being free then
To tootle about doing that that needs done.
No shade for the van
But clear winters sun won’t do the dogs any harm waiting inside.
A haircut.
Then
Past that cafe were things didn’t work out for teaching
Into another for a skewer of shrimp and small beer.
Across the square,
By the crowd of parents
Waiting for their kids to finish for lunch.
To the Bank
Money for Luz-light-electricity then.
All my tootling on a free morning tied up with things to do.
Bustle and movement of scarves and winter coats
But a moment of clarity
Though in these moments all is so unclear
As my stumbling nowhere steps are revealed
By
The woman who works
In the bank
-Who has something of the image of a past lover-
Came in the door as I went out.
And outside the same winter’s sun
No tears but that lump in the throat’s there all the same.
For the woman who’s sharp teeth would cut my tongue’s root with each kiss.
I’d rather be dumb now Than singing this song of the clear light of winter.
Posted in Poetry, Writing, tagged "Poetry",, Ireland, Nature, Poems, Spain, Winter, Writing on December 11, 2013| 4 Comments »
Neutron Star (Paul Holland)
With greenest of bright openings
Four cardinal points of fern
Push out beside the rill
From the Winter’s
Last clinging beech leaves
Drops fall
Into sharply cut waters
Posted in Poetry, Spain, Writing, tagged "Poetry",, Blogs, Deer, Dogs, Nature, Poems, Spain, Winter, Writing on December 3, 2013| 16 Comments »
My Laboured Breaths
The heavy set thump of white tailed deer
As they charge away across the streams wet clay
They caught in its tight slippy narrow confines
Their panic palpable
But short lived
As easy their powerful strides carry them up and away from me and the dogs’ agog
Dun red and the orange of this years bracken Oak leaves under foot
Their crinkle patterns as we slog by this glorious winter’s day
Promised for snow
Now sleety biting rain
Breathe you fool
Another day is the day for sorrows
Not today
My laboured breaths as I push uphill
Posted in Art, poetry, france, burkha, Spain, Writing, tagged "Poetry",, Nature, Poems, Spain, The Seasons, Winter, Writing on March 4, 2013| 12 Comments »
Lace Petticoats
The trees run up
Over the hills here
Sweeping snow
With
The sullied lace petticoats
White
Of hoar breathing
Angels
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Advice, Britain, Comedy, DIY, Health, Humor, Humour, Sand, Winter on December 10, 2012| 20 Comments »
You Must Sand It To Him
Aunty,
Is it true that 72% of all accidents in the home are caused by the mis-use of Sand?
Del, Daventry
Aunty Bill Replies;
Del!
Sand accidents in the house do account for a substantial amount of A&E admissions for a variety of reasons;
A bag of hot sand in the bed instead of a hot water bottle – bag too heavy for the bed – bed collapses and falls through ceiling killing both occupant of bed and other household member(s) downstairs listening to “Here’s Bernie Winters!” on the iPod (hence didn’t hear bed come crashing through ceiling – take note) – 12 recorded examples in the UK.
A bag of hot sand in the bed instead of a hot water bottle – bag too hot/too heavy to lift up stairs –loses balance, falls down stairs and cracks head open on bannister/burns to death under hot sand or suffocates to death – 4 recorded examples in the UK.
Using sand to clear blockage of toilet – causes back surge of water which under extreme pressure causes water to travel back up soil pipe at over 120 mph causing structural damage to both toilet and user – in extreme cases an unwelcome and painful dose of IBS can result – 2 recorded examples in the UK.
Using sand to prop up wonky furniture – sand actually destabilizes the item being propped up. In the case of a piano or large bookshelf this can fall, causing severe injury/death/a good laugh for all your mates – 6 recorded examples in the UK.
These are just a few of the common mistakes people make when using sand as a solution to problems round the home.
I’m sending you a copy of my leaflet “Sand – the grainy, light coloured silent killer in the home”.
Be careful out there!
Aunty B
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Advice, Britain, Cooking, Funny, Heartache, Humor, Humour, People, Vegetables, Winter on November 29, 2012| 19 Comments »
The Root Of The Problem
Aunty,
Several years ago I married the man of my dreams. At least I thought. Since then he has been diagnosed with permanent vegetable disorder. His nose is a carrot, arms are leeks, ears are cauliflowers and his head is turning into a giant lettuce.
I love him dearly but when I see him now all I think about is making a broth.
Can you help?
Sally, Stockton on Tees
Aunty Bill Replies;
Dear Sally
Sorry to hear of your dilemma and the distress caused in watching your man slowly turn into a human casserole.
However with the onset of the cold weather, now is the time to prune those parts no longer of any use to him. He seems to have most of the ingredients to make that lovely warming casserole with the simple addition of a pound of stewing steak and a tin of butter beans and some lentils.
I recommend using a slow cooker to bring out the full flavour of your mans “produce” (leave out the lettuce though). Russell Hobbs do a 6.5 litre brushed aluminium effort for £26 (with vario-thermostatic control) which would be ideal for your needs and provide a healthy and sustaining meal which will last you for several days.
Don’t worry about pruning the limbs as this type of vegetable disorder is that the limbs grow back after a short while therefore providing a constant supply of food! Ensure you keep his lettuce well watered as this is the source of the nutrients that keep the rest of his root vegetables healthy.
I’m sending you a copy of my leaflet “20 Slow Cooker recipes for those living with permanent vegetable disorder (or with someone in the household who does)” – bit of a mouthful but sure tastes good!
Yum Yum!
Aunty Bill
You can read more Aunty Bill here!
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