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Posts Tagged ‘Winter’

The Sea’s waves

Fat

Heavy with the Moon’s oily light

Moon glow seaside Bundoran

Ginger rimmed

Caked in winter’s corona of cloudy night

The town glows too

From above seen

The waves take on the pores

Of skin swept sea

All held firm this

Extra

Given

Night

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My fingers are stiff and sore with the cold
There are no smells from the pines
The winter sun shining through
Carries thoughts of warmth
The resins not warmed enough to ooze
I’d have to carry this pack much further south for such heat now
My shoulders hurt.
My poor fingers
Better get on
Winter brrr…

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Days of cold winter
Of clear light
Of Friday morning’s bustle
Of people in town before lunch
Of being free then
To tootle about doing that that needs done.
No shade for the van
But clear winters sun won’t do the dogs any harm waiting inside.
A haircut.
Then
Past that cafe were things didn’t work out for teaching
Into another for a skewer of shrimp and small beer.
Across the square,
By the crowd of parents
Waiting for their kids to finish for lunch.
To the Bank
Money for Luz-light-electricity then.
All my tootling on a free morning tied up with things to do.
Bustle and movement of scarves and winter coats
But a moment of clarity
Though in these moments all is so unclear
As my stumbling nowhere steps are revealed
By
The woman who works
In the bank
-Who has something of the image of a past lover-
Came in the door as I went out.
And outside the same winter’s sun
No tears but that lump in the throat’s there all the same.
For the woman who’s sharp teeth would cut my tongue’s root with each kiss.
I’d rather be dumb now Than singing this song of the clear light of winter.

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Neutron Star (Paul Holland)

With greenest of bright openings

Four cardinal points of fern

Push out beside the rill

From the Winter’s

Last clinging beech leaves

Drops fall

Into sharply cut waters

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My Laboured Breaths

The heavy set thump of white tailed deer

As they charge away across the streams wet clay

They caught in its tight slippy narrow confines

Their panic palpable

But short lived

As easy their powerful strides carry them up and away from me and the dogs’ agog

Dun red and the orange of this years bracken Oak leaves under foot

Their crinkle patterns as we slog by this glorious winter’s day

Promised for snow

Now sleety biting rain

Breathe you fool

Another day is the day for sorrows

Not today

My laboured breaths as I push uphill

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Lace Petticoats

The trees run up
Over the hills here
Sweeping snow
With
The sullied lace petticoats
White
Of hoar breathing
Angels

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Aunty Bill - A Tin Opener Short

You Must Sand It To Him

Aunty,

Is it true that 72% of all accidents in the home are caused by the mis-use of Sand?

Del, Daventry

Aunty Bill Replies;

Del!

Sand accidents in the house do account for a substantial amount of A&E admissions for a variety of reasons;

A bag of hot sand in the bed instead of a hot water bottle – bag too heavy for the bed – bed collapses and falls through ceiling killing both occupant of bed and other household member(s) downstairs listening to “Here’s Bernie Winters!” on the iPod (hence didn’t hear bed come crashing through ceiling – take note) – 12 recorded examples in the UK.

A bag of hot sand in the bed instead of a hot water bottle – bag too hot/too heavy to lift up stairs –loses balance, falls down stairs and cracks head open on bannister/burns to death under hot sand or suffocates to death – 4 recorded examples in the UK.

Using sand to clear blockage of toilet – causes back surge of water which under extreme pressure causes water to travel back up soil pipe at over 120 mph causing structural damage to both toilet and user –  in extreme cases an unwelcome and painful dose of IBS can result – 2 recorded examples in the UK.

Using sand to prop up wonky furniture – sand actually destabilizes the item being propped up.  In the case of a piano or large bookshelf this can fall, causing severe injury/death/a good laugh for all your mates – 6 recorded examples in the UK.

These are just a few of the common mistakes people make when using sand as a solution to problems round the home.

I’m sending you a copy of my leaflet “Sand – the grainy, light coloured silent killer in the home”.

Be careful out there!

Aunty B

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Aunty Bill - A Tin Opener Short

The Root Of The Problem

Aunty,

Several years ago I married the man of my dreams. At least I thought. Since then he has been diagnosed with permanent vegetable disorder. His nose is a carrot, arms are leeks, ears are cauliflowers and his head is turning into a giant lettuce.

I love him dearly but when I see him now all I think about is making a broth.

Can you help?

Sally, Stockton on Tees

Aunty Bill Replies;

Dear Sally

Sorry to hear of your dilemma and the distress caused in watching your man slowly turn into a human casserole.

However with the onset of the cold weather, now is the time to prune those parts no longer of any use to him. He seems to have most of the ingredients to make that lovely warming casserole with the simple addition of a pound of stewing steak and a tin of butter beans and some lentils.

I recommend using a slow cooker to bring out the full flavour of your mans “produce” (leave out the lettuce though). Russell Hobbs do a 6.5 litre brushed aluminium effort for £26 (with vario-thermostatic control) which would be ideal for your needs and provide a healthy and sustaining meal which will last you for several days.

Don’t worry about pruning the limbs as this type of vegetable disorder is that the limbs grow back after a short while therefore providing a constant supply of food! Ensure you keep his lettuce well watered as this is the source of the nutrients that keep the rest of his root vegetables healthy.

I’m sending you a copy of my leaflet “20 Slow Cooker recipes for those living with permanent vegetable disorder (or with someone in the household who does)” – bit of a mouthful but sure tastes good!

Yum Yum!

Aunty Bill

You can read more Aunty Bill here!

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The Sea’s waves

Fat

Heavy with the Moon’s oily light

Moon glow seaside Bundoran

Ginger rimmed

Caked in winter’s corona of cloudy night

The town glows too

From above seen

The waves take on the pores

Of skin swept sea

All held firm this

Extra

Given

Night

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I’ve given up the shore for Hills

These Hills

At twilight the Lough glows yet red

Clutching the last of the Sun

I’ve given up The Shore for these hills

Hills yellow with furze

Coconut smelling

And birdsong trilling out

Below ribbons of streetlights

Show colour, a friendlier yellow

It’s the mounds that have it tho’

Dusky mounds of fecund blossom

Falling away making this

Spring’s snowline of bushes

Broad brushstrokes

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