Barry Belcher – The Mystic Milkman’s Predictions For 2014

I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I predict predictions, with various degrees of accuracy. Previous predictions can be read here. and here

I am up with the Lark, delivering milk, eggs, orange juice, potatoes, bread (wholemeal mostly but the occasional white sliced) and yoghurt.

So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell?

1. December 2012 – Like The Mayans I believe the world will end on 21st December 2012.

2. 2014 – Feet will be bigger in 2014 by an average of 7.54% per toe.

3. July 2014 –   Nelson Mandela will finally depart the earth for a better place.

Will these prove accurate readers? Only time will tell………

Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” –

Elaine, Walthamstow

The cat ate it.

Barbara, Adelaide

Mum kept the receipt in case you didn’t like the blouse.

Liang Bo in Shanghai

Bo Bing thinks velcro fasteners would be a safer bet for you.

Andre, Biarritz

Pierre says not to worry about the faulty wiring in the toaster. It was a mistake anybody could make and he doesn’t blame you.

IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO MAY BENEFIT FROM HEARING THESE MESSAGES PLEASE PASS THEM ON….

Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny.

Until next time……….

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Banjo Sanchez’s Christmas – By Mike Crawshaw

We hope to hear more from Banjo Sanchez in the New Year. ……….

“Merry Christmas blah, blah…..chutney & stuffing and tits on a tree,

S and M garments, ah something for me.

Those pink rubber dildos look mighty fine,

Stuck on the mantel, architectural sign.

It’s Christmas and Banjo is ready to go.

With some prescription speed and a large bag of blow.

A bottle of Brandy, who’s singing? Paloma?

As Banjo Sanchez slips into a coma.”

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