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Posts Tagged ‘TV Chefs’

SHE’S BACK!

My Dearest foodlovers. I write today from my prison cell in Nice, awaiting sentence for truffle smuggling. One had tried to explain to the arresting Gendarme that what one had found down one’s drawers might resemble a Perigord black truffle but was, alas, a rather invasive little growth that had become detached from one’s person. Anyway, after several “meetings” in the prison laundrette Le Prison Gouveneur has very kindly allowed me to answer some of your Christmas queries.

Joyeux Noel to you all and the Free Fanny campaign goes from strength to strength!

Le Fanny Rougecrack

Dear Fanny.

It’s that time of year again when as a family we have to endure a whole day with my wife’s 96 year old Mother. She does nothing but moan. I don’t why we bother sometimes.  Goodwill to all blah..de..blah but quite frankly I’m sick of her. How can I avoid her all day without making it too obvious that I can’t stand her.

Happy Christmas,

Dave from Dundee

Fanny Replies

Dear Dave,

Give her a glass of sherry, stick a paper hat on her head and sit her in the corner. Check vital signs every twenty minutes or so.

Regardez Fanny

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Fanny By Gaslight

Hello Folks

After a spell in the Betty Turnip Clinic, for some well deserved “rest”, Gfb is pleased to announce that Fanny is Fightin’ Fit and ready to offer some more cooking tips.

Dear Fanny,

I’m throwing a bit of do to raise a few quid for a liver transplant for my Auntie Nelly, or “Yellow Nel” as she’s known to those that love her. But to be honest, there’s not that many who do.

Any idea for nibbles on arrival?

Tendai Nikamaru Madada,

Notts

Dear Tendai,

Have you considered donating one of your own livers? You can live quite comfortably with only one you know. Fortunately, I sustain a healthy lifestyle in conjunction with an enormous alcohol intake and have lived happily without a functioning liver for a couple of decades now.

Doctors! who needs ’em! And I think you’ll agree that I look good for a 38 year old.

Now back to your question dear boy.

You will amaze your guests on arrival with Bloody Mary Lollipops.

Ingredients:

24 cherry tomatoes

Half a pint of vodka

Worcestestestestshire sauce/ Tabasco sauce

Celery sticks

Sea Salt

Cocktail sticks

Method:

Prick the cherry tomatoes all over with a cocktail stick and leave to soak in a mix of vodka/worcestestestestshire and tabasco sauce for 6 hours.

The tomatoes will soak up all of the liquor.

Cut the celery into 2 inch sticks and shave one end into a point.

Pierce each tomato with a celery spear and stick into a small cube of sharp cheddar.

Finish with a sprinkle of coarse sea salt and serve.

Cheers,

Yellow Nel!

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