Posts Tagged ‘Tips’

new oilyHello Oily

I recently saw you at the French Polishers having your tan topped up. I must say I was impressed with the lengths you go to perma tan yourself and may I say your buttocks are an exemplar for a man of your age. My question is would you ever varnish your penis? And if so what lacquer treatment would you recommend?

Stiff Ben, Wendover

Oily Replies;

Hey Stiffie!

Good to hear from you, its been a while. One of Hefner’s party’s if I recall? Was the hospital able to remove the gerbil?

Having a right beast of a penis I enjoy polishing it alot. Sometimes I apply the polish myself though I am a great believer in the old adage ‘many hands make light work; especially when you have an unfeasibly large one’.

I tend to apply to my appendage whatever is lying about the house though this has proved painful in the past when not wearing my reading glasses. There are household cleaning fluids most definitely not meant for application to one’s extremities. But hey ho no pain no gain as dear old Granny Oily used to say.


Read Full Post »