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Posts Tagged ‘The Vatican’

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The Diving Dalai

Gingerfightback’s correspondent,  Ying-Yang Karma-Farmer-Hop Pole was delighted to see the Dalai Lama display his diving prowess recently when his holiness visited the Pond’s Forge swimming centre in Sheffield.

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Inspecting The Boards!

Before you could say “Free Tibet!” the Bouncing Buddhist had stripped off his robes to reveal a well toned torso.

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 Famous Dalai Lama epithets about Diving.

1. “If we enter water too fast – budgie smugglers damage the knackers. Protect your knackers.”

2. “Belly flop is nature’s way of telling you  – you shite at diving.”

Last week it was the Pope on the Pommel. We are sure you agree these two leaders are certainly fit for purpose!

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The Pontiff displayed enormous strength and precision particularly in his flair kicks.

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He Has Flair

Busty Born Again Catholic Beauty, Angharad Big Baps cooed, “First the Pope and now the Dalai! God damn I’m gettin’ me some ol’ time religion!”

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Gingerfightback’s gymnastics correspondent Jamal Roly-Poly was shocked to see his Holiness Pope Francis undertake a rigorous workout on fabled hardcore gymnastics apparatus – The Pommel!

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The Pontiff displayed enormous strength and precision particularly in his flair kicks which Roly-Poly considered to be County  Standard.

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He Has Flair

Busty Born Again Catholic Beauty, Angharad Big Baps cooed, “Not only is the Pope really nice and Holy like but he is ripped as well – wouldn’t mind getting hold of his Holy Sacraments – Phwoaaarr – Off to Lourdes for me!”

His Holy Moly Muscleyness then confounded Roly Poly with a brill session on the Rings!

GB Gymnast, Lewis Smith told Gfb – “Gotta hand it to the Big Man – no swaying from his path and always managed to keep that cheeky chappie grin intact – Go Frankie Babe!”,

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The Pope hopes to compete at the Rio Olympics for The Vatican – we reckon he would be a shoe in for Gold (But can’t think of a Pope on a Rope gag)

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Breaking News…..His Holiness Pope Crusty-Pieus XVII, has announced he is to retire from active Popedom on February 28th. We wish him well. Here is the photograph he sent us a couple of years ago. We think the pie suits him.

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The Savoury Saviour

British PM, David Cameron said, “I will always treasure this signed Pasty from Pope Crusty-Pieus as a work of deep filled, hand finished Godliness.”

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Cameron With The Papal Pasty

We understand that Tony Blair is considering putting his name forward to be the next Pontiff.  He said, “I, Tony Archangel Gabriel Blair, touched by insanity and a need of sausage meat, hereby do declare my fealty to popping in as Pope from time to time, as long as daily fee can be agreed in advance. Cash only. Amen.”

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The Sausage Halo!

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