Posted in Canada, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Politics, Satire, UK, tagged Blogs, Canada, Chinstraps, Coping with relationship breakdowns, Film, Humor, Humour, Italy, Movies, News, Pope Francis, Prince Charles, Rome, Satire, Shakespeare, Steve McQueen, Surviving Depression, The British Monarchy, The Catholic Church, The Great Escape, The Pope, The Royal Family, Vatican on January 20, 2015| 13 Comments »
Hello!
To celebrate chinstrap month, here are some of the great and good who have proudly sport one.
As Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a chinstrap”.
Enjoy!
Here is heir to the throne Prince Charles complete with the Sausage of the Glen
Here Is The Pope!
And here is Steve McQueen!
Posted in Canada, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Politics, Satire, Scotland, UK, tagged Alastair Darling, Better Together, Black Humor, Body Image, Braveheart, Canada, England, Fetishes, Funny, Gordon Brown, Humor, Humour, Mel Gibson, Nick Robinson, Politics, Prince Charles, Satire, Scotland, Scottish Independence, Scottish Referendum, Self Awareness, The BBC, the proclaimers, The Queen, The Royal Family, UK, UK News, USA, Vladimir Putin on September 16, 2014| 15 Comments »
Gingerfightback’s Hugh Pugh-Barney-McGrew was interviewing the heir apparent about his love of courgettes when Chas blurted into the microphone,
Defender Of The Sausage
“I’m sick of these Jock arsewipes moaning about how hard done by they are. Mama forces One to traipse around some God for-fuckin-saken heather moor singing like Moira Anderson’s castrated cousin about,”Weee misty ooop the skelter” or “dinnae na bricht ma panty liners” whilst me knackers are frozen. Kilts are for C*nts who eat deep fried Mars bars, drink deep fried Lager and wear deep fried Shellsuits.
Braveheart? One’s arse.
If I have to hear “500 Miles” by them speccy Proclaimer bastards again I’ll get Mama to fellate Gordon Brown in the fuckin’ Tower. Bathgate no more – thank fuck – Shitehole – Alex Salmond? Lying Jock wanker. Leave old slaphead Robinson alone! Nick may be an arse bandit and Establishment lickspittle but he’s my arse bandit and my lickspittle. Caber tossing bastards…..”
He then hopped over a fence to steal a pair of women’s knickers that were on a rotary dryer in the balmy Edinburgh air.
“One’s Always Been A Thong Man!”
Posted in Canada, Football, Humor, Humour, News, Parenting, Random Thoughts, Satire, Scotland, UK, tagged Australia, Babies, Braveheart, Canada, David Cameron, England, Humor, Humour, Kate, Kate Middleton, Kate Pregnant, Mel Gibson, News. Wales, Prince George, Prince William, Satire, Scotland, Scottish Independence, The Royal Family, USA, William and Kate on September 8, 2014| 14 Comments »
Boy do the Royals work fast!
With the Scottish Referendum vote so close, PM David Cameron ordered Kate and Wills to, “Produce Prince Sprog pronto old chap.”
And quicker than you can say, “I thought Mel Gibson was terrific in Braveheart – FREEEEEEEDUMB!” the slaphead Prince confirms his sperm count once again!
We are as thrilled that our Kate is pregnant with the future Prince Thing of Blighty – As Royal Watcher Tiggy Winkle-Harumph told Gfb, “We can now add fecundity to Kate’s list of achievements!”
That Glorious Day….
And George will have a brother or sister to Rule!
Posted in Canada, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Politics, Satire, Scotland, UK, tagged Beards, Birthdays, Bread and Circuses, Britain, Comedy, England, Funny, Ginger Beards, Humor, Humour, Kate, Kate and Wills, Prince George, Prince William, Satire, The British Royal Family, The Royal Family, The UK, USA, Waitrose on July 23, 2014| 33 Comments »
We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……
Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..
Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,
The Bearded Prince
Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox magazine said, “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance. Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”
Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”
Posted in Funny, Humor, Humour, Satire, Soccer, The World Cup, UK, tagged Adult Humor, Australia, Black Humor, Brazil 2014, Britain, Cololmbia, Costa Rica, England, Football, Humor, Humour, Italy, Japan, Prince Charles, Satire, Soccer, Sports, The Royal Family, The World Cup, Uruguay on June 10, 2014| 8 Comments »
The World Cup Is Here!
Brazil is hosting the tournament.
Prince Charles provides his rounded view of the 32 Nations taking part. Here is his take on the Groups C and D.
Group C
Colombia – Every crack dealers second team. Likely to sniff victory at the earliest opportunity. Will hug the lines.
Greece – So broke the team had to walk to Brazil. Dearest Father cheers them on. We have to hide the crockery.
Ivory Coast – Big lads to a man – lightweights. Should have been our colony. Frogs got there first.
Japan – Whale butchers and giant lizard fantasists – who WE BEAT IN THE WAR! – You can stick your Honda Civic up yer arse!
Group D
ENGLAND – Inventors of football, railway timetables, parliamentary democracy, the concentration camp, trapped wind, eyelash curlers and the long sock – if there’s an Eden it is England. Bloody foreigners. Which one of you fuckers wants some then?
Italy – A car back fires and Rome surrenders – lily livered Latin loverboys who will cheat and bribe their way to victory over our brave lads unsullied as we are by the desire or skill to win at football.
Uruguay – Morose bandy legged corned beef hawkers – two words to say to them Graf Spee and the Battle of River Plate!
Costa Rica – Titchy Central American nation perched on an Isthmus which sounds like someone with a lisp saying Christmas. They don’t have an Army. INVADE! Bring back the Empire!
INGERLAND!
Posted in Canada, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Politics, Satire, UK, tagged Blogs, Canada, Chinstraps, Film, Humor, Humour, Italy, Movies, News, Pope Francis, Prince Charles, Rome, Satire, Steve McQueen, The British Monarchy, The Catholic Church, The Great Escape, The Pope, The Royal Family, Vatican on May 23, 2014| 12 Comments »
Hello!
To celebrate world chinstrap week, Gingerfightback brings to you some of the great and good down the years who have proudly sported one.
As Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a chinstrap”.
Enjoy!
Here is heir to the throne Prince Charles complete with the Sausage of the Glen
Here Is The Pope!
And here is Steve McQueen!
Posted in Canada, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Satire, UK, tagged Black Humor, Body Image, Canada, Dalai Lama, Fetishes, Humor, Humour, Paul McCartney, Politics, Prince Charles, Russia, Satire, Self Awareness, The Beatles, The Royal Family, Tibet, UK, Ukraine, USA, Vladimir Putin on May 22, 2014| 18 Comments »
Many of you will have read that Prince Charles had a pop at Russian President and leading gay rights advocate, Vladimir Putin “On The Ritz” calling Vlad a Nazi. (Best not to look too deeply at Charles’ Grandmother then!)
Defender Of The Sausage
What was not revealed was the Chuck, currently annoying people in Nova Scotia, then went on to slam Beatles legend and champion of misjudged cosmetic surgery, Paul McCartney.
Gfb can reveal that Chas said about Macca, “Christ I’m sick of that scouse arsewipe. Ever since he married that one legged Geordie Harpie he’s been a right pain in one’s arse. Always turning up uninvited, Olympics, Jubilee, Weddings. If I hear “Hey Fuckin’ Jude” emanating from his gob off key one more time I’ll get Mama to lock him in the fuckin’ Tower. He only gets the gig cos Camilla uses his plastic surgeon. Can’t you tell? They have the same nose and chin. Na Na Na Na me arse.”
But that was not all.
An hour later, drink in hand and a touch world weary, Charles was heard to say about the Dalai Lama, “Speccy Chink Wanker. Buddhist my arse. Looks like a nonce to me. Fuckin’ hate vegetarians I do. Never known any situation where having a sausage doesn’t make things better.”
He then hopped over the garden fence to steal a pair of women’s knickers that were drying on a rotary dryer in the balmy Nova Scotian spring air.
“One’s Always Been A Thong Man!”
Posted in Humor, Humour, News, Satire, UK, tagged Australia, Babies, Beards, Birthdays, Bread and Circuses, Britain, Canada, Distraction, England, Funny, Ginger Beards, Hillbillys, Humor, Humour, Kate and William, Kate Middleton, New Zealand, News, Prince, Prince George, Prince William, Princess Kate, Princess Katherine, Red Hair, Royal Baby, Satire, The Royal Family, USA on April 10, 2014| 21 Comments »
We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……
Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..
Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,
The Bearded Prince
“I am flabbergasted,” said Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox! magazine, “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance. Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”
Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”
Posted in Funny, Humor, Humour, Show Business, TV, UK, tagged Bingo, Britain, Buying A Property, Channel 4, Funny, Humor, Humour, India, Kirsty Allsopp, London, Property, Satire, The Royal Family, TV on January 24, 2014| 22 Comments »
Yesterday Kristy Arseslap told you of the plight of Bingo and India and their attempts to land a pile in London. (You can read their heart rending tale here).
We were swamped by requests to find out how their home search was going. So, Mike Crawshaw caught up with them.
” Last year we tried to help Bingo and India, a couple of upper class tossers from Surrey, find a property in Central London. They had more money than sense to spend on their ideal property but unfortunately this would not stretch to the property at the end of The Mall that India fell in love with. When we left them, India was convinced that she could oust the existing tenants with an offer they could not refuse. We’ll let India take up the story….
‘I walked round the outside to see if there was stables and a paddock but I couldn’t see anything except an old man with great big ears. He appeared to be watering the plants.
He looked up and our eyes met. There was something about him that was rather attractive.
I felt we had met before. He wandered over.
‘Hello, may I help you?’
‘Yes, I was rather admiring your house’
‘My wife tells me It has been in the family rather a long time, what is your name my dear’
‘ India’
“What a coincidence! my great-great grandmother was Empress.”
‘I’d do anything to live in this house’
‘Anything?’
‘Oh yes’
‘What I have in mind may give you a bladder infection.’
‘That’s alright, I don’t know anything about flowers. Have you got a pony?”
An improved offer was turned down when his wife caught him with no trousers.
Posted in Funny, Humor, Humour, Property, Show Business, TV, tagged British TV, Buying A Property, Channel 4, Funny, Humor, Humour, India, Kirsty Allsop, Location Location Location, London, Ponies, Satire, The Royal Family, TV on January 23, 2014| 38 Comments »
With house prices rises and the attendant debt fuelled boom (where have we heard that before?) beginning to infect our lives again – we are also subjected to the evil that are TV property programmes.
Is Britain the only country in the World who’s programme schedules are infested with programmes such as “Location, Location, Location?” or as Mike Crawshaw reimagines the programme with its fantabulous host and “expert” Kristy Asslop.
Kristy Asslop – She Understands Our Needs
“Welcome to this week’s Located, Located, Located! – Bingo and India are a couple of spoilt little bastards from Surrey who are searching for property in Maida Vale or Richmond, way beyond their price range. They have a deposit of £1,000,000, scraped together by Bingo’s parents, Herry and Celia, after a quick look down the back of the living room sofa.
Hopefully this will prove to be enough to get rid of their tiresome loin fruit and his vapid fiancée who have been plaguing their parental pile since Bingo and India met during a Tofu Punting Party at Cambridge.
They have a budget large enough to pay off the National Debt of Bolivia but still can’t find anything they both like. Bingo wants to be a short tube ride to his job as a back-stabbing chancer in the City whilst India wants to be near her friends, who rather irritatingly, keep moving.
They would both like a party pad with the ‘wow’ factor but there must be somewhere to keep a pony.
Bingo would like to be near a park where he can hide in the bushes to deal with his insecurities. India wants to be near her pony.
Also on Bingo’s tick-list is a basement room where he can go through back copies of ‘Health & Efficiency’ with his Eton chums, Bovril, Toby and Crichton and discuss why, in real life, women have hair and not a smudge?
India wants a pony.
The properties we have shown them so far have not been up to expectation.
India was rather taken with a large, detached, white building with bags of potential at the end of The Mall but we had to point that the little old lady waving on the balcony, was a sitting tenant but we did agree that it was ‘a lovely place to keep a pony’.
Will the old girl move for Bingo and India?
In desperation we showed them a couple of properties in the ‘up and coming’ areas where they would get so much more for their money but as Bingo said there were far too many poor people and India didn’t see one person on a pony.
We were making headway on a property near Abbey Road but this was rejected when they found that the kitchen had no ‘en-suite bathroom’ or stable.
It was at this point that Bingo took me to one side to thank me for all my effort and to say that unfortunately India had her heart set on the detached house in the Mall and if we would be so good as to drop them orf on the way back they felt sure they could bribe the old woman to leave.
We dropped them off at Brick Lane and wished them well. The wankers.”
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