Posts Tagged ‘The Queen’

Liz’s Concerns Over Scottish Independence

The Queen of England QE2, has pleaded with the Scots not to turn their backs on the United Kingdom and vote for independence. The big funnelled beauty was seen letting off steam about the situation recently.

Her Embassy Regal Majesty, celebrating 60 years without a thought this year, is said by Palace insiders to be very “worried” about developments.

To show her devotion to her Scottish subjects Her Royal Linerness has taken to wearing the national symbol of Scotland, the Scotch Egg.

"An Igg On One's Id"

Royal Watcher, Audrey Utterly-Butterly told Gfb, “Her Royal Minus is very keen that the Sweaty’s stay part of the UK. If they vote for independence, where will she and Phil spend their summer hols? Balmoral will be abroad!”

It is rumoured that Prince Phillip has ordered tanks to be placed outside the house of Scottish firebrand and the fattest man in domestic politics Alex “Deep Fried” Salmond.

Chicken Tank

But bending over to the Celtic nations is nothing new for Her Royal Thighness. Why only last year, as a sign of the improving relations with what Prince Phillip described as “Those bog trotting Mick bastards from across the Irish Sea,” Queenie and Phil donned traditional begorrah begorrah garb as a sign of rapprochement between the two nations.

"Top Of One's Morning To One"

What will the Scottish People decide?

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The Queen of Hingeland?

Tanktop McBain, Gfb’s lead reporter has learned today that Moma Grizzly, Sarah Palin’s romance with The Pope is over. For more info follow this link – http://gingerfightback.com/2011/12/09/sarah-palins-lovelife/

The doyen of the Pea Tarty, who recently sought to ban Whales because they were big, is being consoled by her lawn mower after the goose stepping Pontiff ditched her for what he laughably described as “God”.

Palin was devastated to finally understand that celibacy was not a delicately cook white fish and was in fact a well-known person with a lisp.

Pope Pius 23rd

“I sure is devastated, but heck y’know life goes on!” Sarah told a close pal whilst teaching her kids, Cre, Ati, On, Ism about the inherent evil that earthworms pose to mankind.

Liz’s Lezzer Lust!

Rumours ripen by the second however that Sarah is now in the arms of a new lover, The Queen of England. She and Lesbo Liz have been seen strolling around Anchorage hand in hand, giggling like school kids and looking dreamily into each other eyes.

“Shucks!” cried Palin, “I admit it. That Liz is one hot bit of ass! You’ll never have a frown once you’ve tried some Windsor Crown!”

She's A Malteser

What first attracted the two lovers? Honeycombed chocolate balls it would appear to us!

However, Buckingham Palace remains tight lipped about the rumours.

"Nature's Played A Cruel Trick On Her"

“Bollocks,” the Keeper of The Royal Satsuma told Gfb, “Her Royal Sinus is not havin’ it large with Ms Palin. Now clear off – I want to watch the repeat of CSI – mind you it is not the same since Grissom left is it?”

So it must be true then.

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