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Posts Tagged ‘The Olympics’

Hello Folks

Bradley’s done it again! crowned BBC Sports Personality of The Year, – we claim him as a Ginger.

Go Wiggo!

Tough on Mo though – If he’s been Ginger would the result haved been different? Probably  not.

mofarrah
 

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Bob Lewington here;

I was round Aunt Bab’s this morning adjusting her new chairlift.

I had seized it from a Paralympic hero who had failed to pay her Council Tax. I won’t name names but this individual’s ability to inspire a generation didn’t wash with the Magistrate.

Still Bab’s was grateful for the chairlift, although technically speaking there is nothing actually wrong with her . Being bone idle is not recognised as a medical condition.

The lift does set her new wallpaper off a treat though.

I had the inaugural journey, as I needed the smallest room. Got stuck on the landing and had to walk the rest of the way. Not exactly Neil Armstrong but you can’t have everything in life.

I had a go at that Sudokio in The Sun whilst on the pot. All Those Numbers! In Boxes. Up. Down. Across. Did My Head In. Numbers are bollocks. End of.

So I rolled up the paper and swatted a fly who was banging its head against the frosted window pane.

Bit like me with the Sodokio.

I walked down the stairs. Part of a new Olympic inspired fitness programme. The lads in the Dubious Pilchard were impressed when I  told them. Given up crisps as well. Well, on Sundays at least.

I’m on the road to Rio!

Be lucky fella.

Bob

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Well folks,

Britain’s great summer of sport is drawing to a close. Sadly,Bradley no more, Mo no more, Jessica no more, Weir no more or Ellie no more.

All the lads and lasses who ran, threw, rode, sailed, lifted and made peculiar noises with the strain of it all are now being adulated in their home towns, villages, sheds and/or bus stops.

Union Flags are being  folded and neatly placed in airing cupboards across the land.

As I write, I can hear hamstrings twanging as men of a certain age struggle into lycra in the vain hope of “I used to ride to school therefore I can make it to Rio in 2016”. The logic as ill-fitting as the sportswear.

Sadly, our politicians are now limbering up to take centre stage.

As the vainglorious peacocks in the Coalition Government unveil yet more incomprehensible incompetence, David Cameron has given Nick Clegg the thumbs up!

Oh Dear.

Rule of Thumb

But fear not, we always have Ed!

“I’ve Had The Adenoids Out Therefore I Am Fit For Porpoise”

Latest evidence suggests that they collaborated on a well known piece of art restoration!

“Have You Got A Green Felt Tip Pen George?”

Gawd help us.

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Earl Wiggins Of Lambretta

The Olympics are over.

Ginger Sooty is in the wash along with me smalls and as it is good drying weather today, I will hang him out in the garden rather than on the clothes horse in the loft of Fightback Towers.

He will be back, fluffed and buffed for his next Reportage.

Many thanks to the thousands of you who took the time to read his in-depth reports. I understand that Pluckery Clubs, Octagenarian Bollock Drop and Roll Clubs and Donkey Dangling Clubs across the UK have seen a spike in enquiries.

We hope we have played a small part in getting people of their settees and gibbering for at least thirty minutes a day.

It has been a great Olympics for Gingers. Below are some of our Titian Titans!

To the youngsters who got in touch to talk about being bullied because they are Ginger, please take inspiration from these people. Talk to your parents, family members or teachers about the problems you are having.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Lord Sandy Bottom

Dan Purvis – Gymnastics

Henk Grol – Judo (Nederlandsch)

Our Mo!

Will Satch – Rowing (In Boats – not arguing – although I wouldn’t argue with him)

Betty Heidler – obvious where she is from and what she does

Team GB’s Water Polo Captain

Lot To Live Up To Wayne!

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Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS provides a daily round-up of events at the London 2012 Olympics that are, quite simply London 2012.

Well Folks –  We’re done!

Wigs off to Mo Farah for winning the 5,000 metres and also to the Jamaican 4×100 metres team for breaking the world record on their way to gold.

David Boudia of the US won the 10 metre diving (with titchy trunks on).

Tamara Echegoyen Dominguez, Sofia Toro Prieto Puga and Angela Pumariega Menendez of Spain  won gold in the women’s Elliott 6m Sailing

Another great sailor was Kirk Douglas. The photo shows what happened to his boat. Ahoy there!

THE CLOSING CEREMONY

I would like to see the theme of the Summer Fete being incorporated into the closing ceremony and not all of that esoteric power blather. All played out over a dodgy PA system.

So first up would be The Donkey Derby;

Then; Glamorous Granny

Followed by;  Knobbly Knees!

Then; The Triathlon!

Finally of course – The Raffle!

First Prize – A Christmas Hamper

Second Prize – A Set of Cotton Sheets

Third Prize – A Bottle of Pomagne

Fourth Prize – A Kettle (With Lead)

Fifth Prize – A Pair Of Slippers

Sixth Prize – A Lamp (Without Shade)

Hopefully the rain will hold off for it.

I Hope You Enjoyed  The Games!

Nighty Night

Sooty

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Another Ginger Gold!

Will we ever forget his second spindly legged race for home?

When asked about his award from Gingerfightback Mo said, “Winning the 5,ooo metres and 10,000 metres was great but donning the ginger syrup is my greatest achievement!”

Go Mo!

Suits Him!

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Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS provides a daily round-up of events at the London 2012 Olympics that are, quite simply London 2012.

Well Folks –  Nearly there!

Maris Strombergs from Latvia won the BMX gold.  The wicker basket on the front of his bike didn’t slow him down. Team GB’s entrant promises to take his stabiliser wheels off for Rio.

The USA 4×100 metres women’s team broke the world record, while Britain’s lads dropped the baton (once again).

There was an upset in the men’s Kayak Single (K1) 200m, where Piotr Siemionowski of Poland finished sixth and did not qualify for the final. Watching it I was continually chanting “Hiawatha, Hiawatha, Hiawatha”.

Another great Kayaker to miss out was Kirk Douglas. The photo shows what happened to his Kayak!

A couple of sports to look out for.

1. Salad Dressing

Italian Mario Zucchini is the one to beat. His lettuce in thong, beetroot in slingbacks combo was not only erotic, challenging and daring it was also very tasty.

In the World Championships in Luamba this year, Zucchini’s coleslaw capped with a Titfer and Tomato in double breasted single vent suit literally took the world of Sport’s Salad Dressing to new heights.

Although it left a nasty taste in the mouth with his competitors.

Ireland’s Paddy McMuff the self-styled “King of Cabbage Bra” will feature in the medal hunt.

2. Agoraphobic Orienteering

Test event at this year’s games.

Actually it started ten days ago but no-one has left the changing tent yet.  The sound of knees knocking together dominates.

Yeng Bing Yang of China took a peek out of the tent and this places her in the gold medal position.

Enjoy The Games!

Sooty

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