Posts Tagged ‘Spa Treatments’

Feline a bit Catty?

Hello Oily,

Several weeks ago I went to a health spa. I had a lovely time and a right good pampering. I really enjoyed the sauna and steam rooms and also the special nose spore cleansing that used Siamese cat spittle as the cleansing agent. My nose has never been so shiny!

However, recently I have noticed that I am becoming increasingly feline in my daily activities. Sleeping a lot, urinating over furniture, scrabbling around after mice under the bed and running after imaginary foes. Oh, and I have developed a taste for licking my back passage in public.

My man has put a bell around my neck as well in case I get lost up the tree.

Do you think I should ask for my money back?

Tiddles, Avondale

Oily Replies;


This whole problem screams to me of someone who ain’t getting any.

Not surprising if you have allowed your pink canoe to go unused.  My lady loveboy is always kept well manicured. In fact I insist on helping in this task myself using my own personal bag of tricks to aid him. I will send you one of these Lovebags on receipt of £ 39.99 plus p&p and a DVD of you and your girlfriend at the masseurs all hot and lithesome and……

Ahem oops..sorry I got sidetracked. Slightly. God is it hot and clammy in here or is it just me?

Anyway poppet the important thing is that once that lawn has been mowed and your punanny pavement has been pounded, the world will seem a much better place.


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