Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics – Ginger Sooty Reports – Day 3

Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS provides a daily round-up of events at the Sochi 2014 Olympics that are, quite simply Sochi 2014.

PHEW! What a day!

Somebody from somewhere slid down a hill quicker than somebody else from somewhere else to claim gold in the sliding down the hill quickly competition. Made for great TV.

Britain got a medal! Well done Jenny Jones for sliding down the bannister so well!

Also, we saw a German Ski Jumper with the surname Wank! Schoolboy titters all round. Especially as a pulled off a big one! But he didn’t come first. Luckily.

A couple of sports for you to look out for today.

1. Ice Donkey Dangling – How long can you dangle from a donkey naked in temperatures below 35 degrees celsius? When I tell you the Mohammed Algibber from Egypt can dangle for twenty-three days without food, water or “natural break” you will realise  this sport combines, endurance, pointlessness and chafing in equal measure. His nipples can score glass afterwards.

Team GB’s hopes rest with titchy Welshman Dai Do-Rail.

2.Bladder Blast! –  Drink heartily, step out into the snow and write your name in a drift. Current World Champion is Aleksander Kulimentshiovski. With all those letters…… The sport is not yet open to women due to rows about cone technology.

Enjoy The Games!

Sooty

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Train Travel Tales #2

It had been a very cold snap. The 08.31 pulled into Stonehouse.

“Is this seat free?” she asked

“Yes,” I replied with a smile and a gracious look about me features, which remained a little bloated from Christmas excess.  We sat in silence for a few minutes. I was happy to look out at the snow covered hills and the hoar frosted beauty of the trees made me think lovely, light fluffy thoughts. I felt a touch of the Wordsworth’s come upon me but struggled to find a word that would rhyme with snow. Glow? Tow? Cow? – I gave up being ethereal.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” she said, “The snow on the hills and on the trees.”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Mind you,” she whispered in a slightly conspiratorial fashion, “This cold weather plays havoc with my menstrual cycle.”

I wondered if Frank Sinatra had encountered similar problems during the filming of Von Ryan’s Express.

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