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Posts Tagged ‘Sarah Palin’

Hello!

If you missed Ginger Sooty’s last report on the US Election you can read it here!

Governor Romney recently toured the key election state of Colorado. He announced a new plan to boost jobs and growth in America by offering generous tax breaks for deep-sea nose hair exploration.

“Nose hair has a great future. I keep mine in a jar. Gonna frack ’em. Wanna see?” He told bemused onlookers.

The President also toured the key election state of Colorado. He announced a major new initiative to turn around the USA’s fortunes through a mass conversion to Buddhism. Okarma Care.

Sarah Palin’s Thought Of The Day – We thought she was thinking, but it turned out to be a spot of trapped wind.

Today’s Great Ginger Wig Of The Office Of The President Of The United States.

#3 Theodore Roosevelt – Big Lad. The Teddy Bear was named after him. Used to beat dissenters with the limbs of Filipinos. Wasn’t in the best of health when he died. Ears made of wheat.

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If you missed Ginger Sooty’s first report on the US Election you can read it here!

The election for the next President of the US is only a few days away and Gfb has sent ace reporter Ginger Sooty to cover it.

Hello Everyone

Governor Romney has toured the key election state of Florida, where he had a meaningful conversation with an orange and squeezed a satsuma in a provocative manner. His hair was very shiny, dare I say….. lustrous?

The President also toured the key election state of Florida. He announced a major new initiative which will use Andean pack animals as a sustainable transportation system. Ollama Care.

Sarah Palin’s Thought Of The Day – Sorry, nothing doin’ today! 

Today’s Great Ginger Wig Of The Office Of The President Of The United States.

#2 Abraham Lincoln – Big Lad. Wore a big hat. If you want to get ahead wear a hat. Famed for his Gettysburg Address. Don’t know why,as it was just 1265 Maple Avenue, Gettysburg, PA.

Slain by an assassin.

Some people have asked Why Sooty?

Here he is debating US Foreign Policy recently;

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The United States of America is a big place. It stretches from here all the way to over there and then down a bit. It’s a bit windy at the moment.

The election for the next President of the US is only a few days away.

This is how it works.

MONEY.

LOTS OF IT!

Then;

The winning candidate must secure a majority of Electoral College votes. The Electoral College also has evening classes in basic car maintenance, conversational Spanish and food hygiene.

Gfb has sent our ace reporter Sooty, now fully fluffed and stitched after his mammoth Olympic Reportage, to bring you the inside story on how the election race is progressing.

Hello Everyone

Last week I was following Governor Romney as he toured the key election state of Ohio. He said to one person “Women are great aren’t they! My wife is a woman and she should know!” Whilst to another he said “Cheese is at the top of my agenda. Yes sirree, right up there alongside hair tonic.”

Earlier in the week I followed The President as he toured the key election state of Ohio. He announced a major new initiative to turn around the USA’s fortunes through intensive punctuation. Ocomma Care.

Sarah Palin’s Thought of The Day

We are happy to announce that Pea Tarty doyen Sarah “Im” Palin is, for a small stipend, letting us in on her thought processes.

Today Sarah wants to ban the chewing of meat on Thursdays.

You are no doubt aware of the Great Seal of The Office Of The President Of The United States. Well for the first time, we are allowed to bring you pictures of the Great Ginger Wig Of The Office Of The President Of The United States.

George Washington – wore a wig and had big buckles on his shoes. 38% gravel. Had a great fear of wood. In all its evil forms.

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Recently we brought damning proof of Mitt Romney’s secret backers which you can see here. All I will say is that I knew the Osmonds were up to something.

Gingerfightback’s top reporter Once Ginger Sooty, has captured another amazing shot.

It shows the evil, spotty genius who, FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE is behind Obama’s attempts to cling on to the Presidency. JOSEF STALIN!

Proof that the Pea Tarty was right all along – OBAMA is a COMMIE BASTARD!

Where’s He Russian Off To?

Wake Up America before this is your new National Anthem!

Thank You Once Again, Once Ginger Sooty!

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A few weeks ago, Gfb told you about Sarah Palin’s affair with disgrace Murdoch crone, Rebekah Brooks. Sadly they have split up – for Sarah has a new love! Nelson Mandela!

Mama Grizzly fell for the 126 year old South African colossus when they discovered a shared passion for topiary.

Sarah has told friends that when she saw Nelson’s ten foot tall rabbit, shaped from his favourite Bay Laurel, she knew he was the one.

Sarah confided to a close pal, “One time with Mandela you’ll never want another fella!”

It appears the lovers also share a passion for sporting chocolates on their heads

 

Sarah’s children Animal, Mineral, Vegetable and Mineral-Again, all love prodding Nelson with a stick when he pops round to sharpen his shears.

Gfb asked Professor Pat Isserie, Lecturer in Lechering, University of Manitoba, for his views on these developments. “Phwoarr! wouldn’t mind seeing photos of them two going at it. Bet she enjoys sitting atop Nelson’s Column! Phwoarrr….”

We wish them well.

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A few weeks ago, Gfb told you about Sarah Palin’s affair with Cheese. Well sadly they have had a parting of the wheys,  after Sarah discovered a new love. Rebekah Brooks!

You may recall our exclusive footage of Decker Brooks lumping ex-hubby Grant Mitchell. If you didn’t, here it is again!

It appears that Mama Grizzly fell for the flame haired temptress at a mobile phone security conference in Boston where Brooks was the guest speaker.

Palin was on the door.

Sarah confided to a close pal, “Only crooks would consort with Brooks! – so I guess we were meant to be!”

The pair are said to be smitten and regularly go riding together through the Alaskan tundra on horses provided London’s police.

“Corruption” – The Horse Lent By The Police To Brooksy

Commented a source, “Sarah is nuts about Bekah. The link between Brooks, Murdoch and Fox News is entirely coincidental. It has nothing to do with her political ambitions whatsoever.”

We understand that Sarah has told her kids, Animal, Mineral, Vegetable and Mineral -Again, that she and Brooksy are in it for the long haul. “I’ve got no choice,” she allegedly told them, “Brooksy has got my naughty calls to Ritt Momney on tape.”

Gfb asked Professor Pat Isserie, Lecturer in Lechering, University of Manitoba, for his views on these developments. “Phwoarr! wouldn’t mind seeing photos of them two going at it. Have you got any snaps? I pay top dollar!”

Either way it seems that the Grizzly Mama has found love again, once more in an unlikely manner. We wish them well.

If you would like to see a selection of totally made up stories about Sarah’s lovelife, visit our Ginger News page!

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Say Cheese!

News has reached Gfb that Sarah Palin’s lesbian love lust liaison with Liz, The Queen of England has ended.

The pair split a couple of weeks ago after Sarah discovered HRT having a nibble of  odd Jock songstress Susan Boyle.

But Sarah has found love in the arms of an unlikely sauce. Cheese!

Cheddar, Gouda, Emantaler, Ricotta, Feta, and even Stilton, have all been spotted in Alaskan nightspots smooching with Sarah. The perky lass has even engaged in group cheese sessions.

Liz Has A New Love!

But definitely not French cheese. She is a Patriot.

Commented a trusted sauce, “She is crackers about them.”

Gfb asked Professor Eldritch Dip-Thong, Lecturer in Unattributed Quotes, University of Tashkent, for his views on these developments. “Haven’t got one to be honest. But I can make one up if you like!”

Either way it seems that the Rennit lovin’ Grizzly Mama has found her whey again. To prove this she recently took a swipe at Republican Presidential hopefuls, Sick Rantorum and Ritt Momney.

“Is that the best we got to offer? Hell on a Grizzly’s tinkle! I got more balls in each of ma five eyes than those Mofo’s put together! Y’all. Heck. God. Creationism. Beware of blacks. Aryan. Lock ‘n Load!”

We don’t know what it means either.

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