Posted in Beauty Tips, DIY, Funny, Humor, Humour, News, Parenting, Satire, tagged Comedy, Eggs, Erectile Dysfunction, Film Stars, Giraffes, Humor, Humour, India, Infertility, Male Sex Drive, Men, Sandra Bullock, Satire, Sex, Sperm, The Titanic, UK, USA on August 11, 2014| 18 Comments »
Hi Everyone!
Two words that strike fear into sperm.
Erectile Dysfunction.
Lately with him we’ve had more chance of raising the Titanic. A diet of oily fish and Sandra Bullock films played havoc with his urgings.
Then it all changed yesterday – during a documentary about Giraffes.
Before you can say “what a load of codswallop” – his downstairs blood flow picks up – and she got more than that egg and tomato sandwich for tea!
I am one happy zygote!
Right……Ready Or Not…..Here I Come!
Posted in Art, Humor, Humour, Music, UK, tagged Art, Ballet, Chopin, Cinema, Classical Music, England, George Clooney, Gravity, Humor, Humour, Laurence Olivier, London, Monet, Movies, Opera, Painting, Sandra Bullock, Satire, Swan Lake, Terry Cotter., Turandot on February 28, 2014| 25 Comments »
Hello,
My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.
I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.
Here are reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.
1. Painting
Water Lilies – Monet’s famous work. He was an Impressionist. I do impressions. Gwyneth Paltrow and Laurence Olivier are my best ones. Close your eyes and it is as if they are in the room with you.
2. Movies – Gravity – Bollock and Cloney star in this film about wonky goings on in space. Lacked a bit of atmosphere – Tipped for Oscar glory though – Goes on a bit.
3. Music – Chopin Piano Sonatas – Plinky plonky plink. Plonkety, Plonkety, Plink. That’s the gist of it – Goes on a bit.
4. Ballet – Swan Lake – Lads with big thighs bounce around the stage for no apparent reason, whilst thin girls go tippy toe, tippy toe, tip tip tippy toe – again for no apparent reason Goes on a bit.
5. Opera – Turandot – Hefty lads and lasses warble about something. In a foreign language! Then a really big unit warbles really loudly for another bit. Then it ends. Goes on a bit.
Village News
The Vicar’s rash has cleared up thanks to the liberal application of Calamine lotion and abstinence from fornication.
‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!
TCTP
