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Posts Tagged ‘Rock Music’

Hello Oily

Which do you think is more likely to make a comeback as a hairstyle for men, the perm or the mullet?

I like Jon Bon Jovi’s locks – they are teased, tousled and perfectly match his cock rock power rock ballads about being a dead or alive cowboy on a steel horse whilst keeping the dream alive and our love will never die cos we were meant to be together and holding on together ‘cos he rides a steel cowboy often in the rain.

Bet his hair never gets wet though.

Toby, Moray

Oily Replies,

Toby,

I go for the sleek and sensual Silver Fox look. Easily maintained and always stays in position even when I have my ‘watersports’ weekends with the Compton Fetishist Society here in Crazy City.

Yes, my sexual proclivities are not bound by class creed or colour. Or species, if you believe the tittle tattle written in the Catholic Herald this week. But I deny those charges vehemently.

Was simply a misunderstanding.

Woof Woof.

You really know the lyrics of Bon Jovi don’t you. Well done and have a biscuit.

I love Twisted Sister – the relation not the band.

Regards, Oily

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Yes!

bruce copy

Born To Sausage?

Famous

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Yes!

Don’t worry – it is not a giant sausage – Bono is titchy!

bono1 copy

Famous U2 Sausage Songs include;

Sausage Bloody Sausage

Where The Sausages Have No Name

With Or Without Sausage

Pride (In The Name Of Sausage)

Sometimes You Can’t Make Sausage On Your Own

Even Better Than The Real Sausage

Whose Gonna Ride Your White Sausage?

bono2 copy

See How He Can Make The Sausage Hover Above Him!

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Our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter and his unique insight into the world they call “Art”.

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

1. Painting

The Creation Of Adam – Michelangelo stuck this on the roof of the Sistine Chapel. I  got a crick in my neck looking at it. Why didn’t he paint it on the wall?

2. Movies

The Exorcist – Devil visits a girl, she vomits pea soup, is potty mouthed and finds a new way to use a crucifix. Max Von Sydow sorts it out. Goes on a bit (I think – had me eyes closed most of the time. Slept with the light on that night!) – by the way Devil spelt backwards is lived.

3. Music

Back In Black – AC/DC – Titchy Australian dresses up as schoolboy and a dwarf Geordie in a cap perform songs about their giant penises and the pleasure their todgers bring to women whilst they down fifteen bottles of whiskey a night. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

War And Peace – Tolstoy – There’s a bit of war then a bit of peace. Then a bit more war and then a bit more peace. Goes on and on and on and on and on for a bit.

Village News

The vicar’s wife has darned the net and so the annual table tennis tournament will take place this weekend in Budgen’s frozen food section. First prize will be a packet of Quorn Sausages.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Somebody asked to see the Shane McGowan dancing in Riverdance image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the Gibbon playing a banjo image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

Somebody has asked to see the Einstein with a Col Au Vent Image again – as always happy to oblige! That's Why Physicists Shop At Iceland Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige! Lovely Someboday has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

A Sad End To A Great Career

A Sad End To A Great Career

Somebody has asked to see the Leonardo Da Vinci wearing a yorkshire pudding on his head image again – as always happy to oblige!

The Da Vinci - A Batter Design

The Da Vinci – A Batter Design

Somebody has asked to see the Steve McQueen Great Escape image again – as always happy to oblige !

MCQUEEN

Chinstrap!

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

By The End He Was On 20 A Day

During His Fish Period

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Somebody asked to see the Gibbon playing a banjo image again – as always happy to oblige!

 

Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

Somebody has asked to see the Einstein with a Col Au Vent Image again – as always happy to oblige! That's Why Physicists Shop At Iceland Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige! Lovely Someboday has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

A Sad End To A Great Career

A Sad End To A Great Career

Somebody has asked to see the Leonardo Da Vinci wearing a yorkshire pudding on his head image again – as always happy to oblige!

The Da Vinci - A Batter Design

The Da Vinci – A Batter Design

Somebody has asked to see the Steve McQueen Great Escape image again – as always happy to oblige !

MCQUEEN

Chinstrap!

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

By The End He Was On 20 A Day

During His Fish Period

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Yes!

sirkeith

Here is Mick with a sausage in his hair

sirmick

You can see Tom Cruise with a sausage in his hair here!

And Adele with one here!

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