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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve been making little pottery versions of famous boy bands. Bands such as, Those Lads Who Can’t Sing But Wear Their Jeans Below Their Arses, That One With That Lad With A Limp In and The One With Those Lads With Ridiculous Facial Hair.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Nightwatch –  One of Rembrandt’s best. Difficult to watch things at night. It is dark. I like this painting though. At night look at it with the light on though. Otherwise you won’t see much.

2. Movies

Live and Let Die – Roger Moore’s eyebrow is very good. Any film that has Voodoo and men wearing shirts sporting epaulettes is alright by me. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here – “We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year” – doesn’t matter – fish have very bad memories so they won’t be  lost for long. Fish are thick.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

James Ellroy – American Tabloid – Drug smuggling transvestite J. Edgar Hoover shoots JFK and blames a black bloke.  Goes on a bit though.

5. Bridge Night

Tomorrow’s Bridge Night has been cancelled as the Bridge has not been delivered yet due to the floods. Keep an eye on the noticeboard outside the Butcher’s for further news.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Well,

We’ve arrived!

“Daring, Brave, Challenging, Decisive, Bold, Witty, Urbane, Erotic, Erratic, Cobblers, Genre Defining, Lithe, Nibble and Chomp” – all words used to describe “Ginger Wig And Biscuits – Dunk Me” our first foray into the previously little known sub genre art of wigs and biscuits on plates next to eachother.

As our regular arts critic Brian Sewer remarked, “Biscuits imply tea. Tea is liquid. Gin is liquid. Make mine a double Barkeep!”

If you have £2,500 it is yours.

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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Since my last Column I’ve made some fish. Tench mostly. but there is the odd Perch in there too. They will go in my pond. In my garden. Out the back of my house.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Last Supper –  Da Vinci’s masterpiece. The last supper I had was a cheese sandwich and a slice of pork pie. Very tasty it was although it repeated on me for a while.

2. Movies

Seven Years in Tibet – Brad Pitt up a mountain. Then in a monastery. He has a German accent. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Motorhead – The Ace of Spades – You can’t beat a good shovel. Lemming has a great voice. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Homer’s Odyssey – Tale about a Greek bloke who goes to war and then comes back after a few years. Set in Greece. Goes on a bit though.

5. Zumba Club

Tomorrow’s Zumba Club will now take place in the Frozen Foods aisle in Spar and not as previously advertised in the World Foods aisle. Someone dropped a bottle of Salsa and Sally won’t get round to clearing it up until tomorrow.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Ginger Is A State Of Mind

Warhol. One word. One man. One Campbell’s Can.  As Suzi Quatro sang “Can The Can!”

Here is the never before seen “Ginger Wigs”.  A collection of Ginger Wigs. Wigs that are Ginger. The rarest Warhol of them all. Again subject to the cruelty of degingerificationismologydada.

As our Arts correspondent Brian Sewer said upon seeing the piece, “Wigs. Figs. Syrup of. Liquid. Alcohol. Make mine a double Bar Keep!”

So brave. So challenging. So daring. So-da Stream.

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Hello Folks,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Since my last Column I’ve concentrated on making mug handles. I will make some mugs next.

So, without further ado here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Sunflowers – I like this painting. It has some flowers in a vase. Don’t like the vase very much though. Vince cut his ear off later on. That must have smarted.

2. Movies

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid – A western set in the west of America.  Goes on a bit though. Has that song in it. The one about rain. Never figured it out to be honest.

3. Music

Chopin’s Polonaise in A flat major – lovely bit of ivory tinkling here. Goes on a bit though. He’s right up there with Liberace in my opinion.

4. Literature

Crime and punishment by Dostoevsky – A Russian bloke commits a crime, gets caught and is punished. Goes on a bit though.

5. Mime

Finally I would like to give a big shout out for the upcoming Lower Swell mime festival. It’s in the Post Office next Wednesday.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Regular readers of Gingerfightback will recall that our beauty therapist and lifestyle guru, Oily George is currently in the USA filming a number of erotic films. You may be interested to learn that George has had a very productive meeting with Disney over a remake (with erotic undertones) of a classic children’s  TV series.

He is hopeful that Scooby Blue will be released next summer.

George has taken a break from filming (and to have his annual prostrate check up) and  faxed me this letter, which he was keen to share with you all!

Hi my lithesome sweat stained, slightly drooling readers. Sorry for my tardy responses to you all of late. I have been busy in Southern California spreading….well ever aware that you may be having your dinner, let us just say I have been spreading the good word of the Oily One.

I just checked my sack recently and boy oh boy was I surprised and rather proud of the bulge! Full to the brim with letters from you all.

Touched I was. I was young, he was the parish priest. But I digress.

Whilst in California I have had some interesting problems to answer. One young man on Huntington beach on 4th July accosted me thus:

‘Yo oily dude. Awesome man, hey I’m stoked. My queen haystack bitch stole my heart, smoked my bong and made off with my roomie. This was not cool man. I need advice. Guidance. I saw you working out on muscle beach down Venice way and like how do I get a 16 pack like u. I’m stuck with a mere 6er. So come on dude whassup?”

Well people, I was totally bamboozled by what he said. I speak the Queen’s English. But after watching the official Southern Californian Tourist Guide DVD ( aka ‘The Big Lebowski’) I was able to translate.

It would appear that his good lady had left him bereft, alone save for his by now, rather raw red right hand. He wanted a physique like mine believing therein lay the answer.

I explained that the ladies enjoy ‘riding the Oily ripple’. Either that or they enjoy the cash I pay them.

However I feel his attire was his main problem. Baseball Cap, T-shirt, shorts and flip-flops to win a fair maiden’s heart?

Wrong, so very very wrong.

I explained that if he wants the chance to ride the skinboat to tuna town he needs to smarten up. Well he has taken my advice to heart and can now be seen on the beaches and boardwalks between LA and San Diego dressed in a rather louche ensemble of crumpled linen suit accessorised with cravat and cummerbund.

I do not mean Sherlock Holmes is wrapped around his waist. That is Benedict Cumberbatch. An oft made mistake especially with the reputation Benedict has here in Tinseltown. Or at least would have if I were to make up some gossip.

Ever shiny ever sleek.

Regards

Oily 

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We have employed Brian Sewer, plummy mouthed onanist, to investigate how Ginger art was often retouched, in what was known as the degingerficationanismist, of some of the world’s greatest pieces of what we call “ART”.

This week Brian has unearthed a new version of The Scream by Munch (pronounced Munk, not Munch as in chomping on a cheese sandwich).

As Brian comments, “The Scream is the cream of the crop when it comes to paintings of people holding their heads. Make mine a double please bar keep!”

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