Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Last Supper –  Da Vinci’s masterpiece. The last supper I had was a cheese sandwich and a slice of pork pie. Very tasty it was although the pork pie repeated on me for a while and the cheese gave me nightmares.

2. Movies

Exodus – Batman takes the Jews on a long walk. Goes on a bit.

3. Literature

Little Women – Louisa May Alcott’s book about midget females. Lacks lesbian love lust. Goes on a bit.

4. Musicals

My Fair Lady – From “Cor Blimey Guv’nor!” to “High Nigh Brine Cow” in 3 hours! Lovely frocks too! 

Village News 

5. Zumba Club

Tomorrow’s Zumba Club will now take place in the Frozen Foods aisle in Spar and not as previously advertised in the World Foods aisle. Someone dropped a bottle of Soya Sauce and Sally won’t get round to clearing it up until tomorrow.

TCTP

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

 

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are reviews the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Sunflowers – VanGogh’s masterpiece – Some flowers in a vase. Don’t like vases. I Prefer Urns. More hygenic. Vince cut his ear off. That must have smarted.

2. Movies

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid – A western set in the west.  Gary Numan is in it. Goes on a bit. Has that song about raindrops on his bonce.

3. Music

Chopin’s Polonaise in A flat major – There’s a bit that goes plinky,plinky, plinky plonk, plonk. After that it goes down hill.

4. Literature

Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky – A Russian bloke commits a crime and is punished for it. Goes on a bit.
Village News

The mime festival will take place by the counter in the Post Office next Wednesday. Thanks to Jeff Smegly for the face paint.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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1 Year Of Arts Scene With Terry Cotter the Potter – Anniversary Special!

 

It has been a year now that our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello Folks,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Since my last Column I’ve had some good news. Upper Swell’s potter, Jay Clay, “The Funkfather Of The Throw” has had to close down due to the recession.

He used to make ashtrays with health warnings inscribed in them. Things like “Don’t hit anyone on the head with this ashtray” or “Stub out the Marlboro Light and go for a run you emphysemic bastard”.

Still he hope to make a go of things with his funk band “Earth n Ware n Fire”.

So, without further ado here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Scream – I like this painting a lot. It shows someone screaming. I reckon they have got toothache. Probably need a spot of root canal.

2. Movies

Lawrence of Arabia – Has Camels in it so bound to be brilliant. Goes on a bit though.

3. Origami

Take a sheet of paper. Fold it four times. Voila! A Swan!

4. Poetry

Wordsworth – I like him. Handy name for a poet too. Pity his odes don’t rhyme though. I like it when they rhyme.

5. Literature

Charles Dickens – Oliver Twist – Chubby Checker read it and the rest is pop history. Goes on a bit though.

Do you have any views on these pieces? If so drop me a line!

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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1 Year Of Arts Scene With Terry Cotter the Potter – Anniversary Special!

 

It has been a year now that our arts guru Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve made some plates for my local pub The Misgoynist and Duck as they have expanded their food sales. I call them surf n turf n earthenware.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Guernica –  Picasso’s most famous. I gurn a lot too. Especially if I eat pickled food.

2. Movies

Gone With The Wind –  Set in America. He doesn’t give a damn in the end. Nice staircase though. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

The Sex Pistols – Never Mind The Bollocks – I love a bit of folk rock, this is what Emerson Lake and Palmer would have sounded like if they hadn’t split up.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Yann Martell – Life of Pi – Pies don’t last long in my house! There’s a tiger in it. The book not the pie. Goes on a bit though.

Village News

The Local Cult’s Proposed Mass Suicide

Elsie has a sprained ankle and this event has been postponed. Keep an eye out in the Post Office window for a new date.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I have been commissioned by the local Lord of the Manor, Sir Giles Plaque-Buildup to make a six-foot ceramic figurine of his favourite shoe horn. Alistair.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Kiss – Klimt’s painting of two lovers kissing. I’m not a very good kisser – a phantom lower lip and congenital halitosis work against me.

2. Movies

The Towering Inferno –  Big building catches fire. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Miles Davis – Kind of Blue – Introduced Skeletal Harmonic Frameworks into Jazz. I don’t know either. Goes on a bit. Daddy-oh.

4. Contemporary Dance

National Dance Company of Wales – Virtual Descent – He’s naked, she’s naked – they stand in a bucket and wave trowels at each other – Goes on a bit.

5. Literature

David Copperfield – Charles Dickens classic novel about that magician bloke. Makes an elephant disappear at one point, but never explains the bouffant hair. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The  Film Society will be showing Bridge Over The River Kwai in the Church Hall on Saturday. Tickets are £1 each. It is hoped that Alec Guinness will introduce the film from beyond the grave.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Pointless GingerWig Adaptations #23 – Hamlet

“Alas Poor Ginger…….”

That reminds me, I must nip to the dentist’s

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Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve made some plates for my local pub The Misgoynist and Duck as they have expanded their food sales. I call them surf n turf n earthenware.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Guernica –  Picasso’s most famous. I gurn a lot too. Especially if I eat pickled food.

2. Movies

Gone With The Wind –  Set in America. He doesn’t give a damn in the end. Nice staircase though. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

The Sex Pistols – Never Mind The Bollocks – I love a bit of folk rock, this is what Emerson Lake and Palmer would have sounded like if they hadn’t split up.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Yann Martell – Life of Pi – Pies don’t last long in my house! There’s a tiger in it. The book not the pie. Goes on a bit though.

Village News

The Local Cult’s Proposed Mass Suicide

Elsie has a sprained ankle and this event has been postponed. Keep an eye out in the Post Office window for a new date.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

Read Full Post »

Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve been making little pottery versions of famous boy bands. Bands such as, Those Lads Who Can’t Sing But Wear Their Jeans Below Their Arses, That One With That Lad With A Limp In and The One With Those Lads With Ridiculous Facial Hair.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Nightwatch –  One of Rembrandt’s best. Difficult to watch things at night. It is dark. I like this painting though. At night look at it with the light on though. Otherwise you won’t see much.

2. Movies

Live and Let Die – Roger Moore’s eyebrow is very good. Any film that has Voodoo and men wearing shirts sporting epaulettes is alright by me. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here – “We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year” – doesn’t matter – fish have very bad memories so they won’t be  lost for long. Fish are thick.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

James Ellroy – American Tabloid – Drug smuggling transvestite J. Edgar Hoover shoots JFK and blames a black bloke.  Goes on a bit though.

5. Bridge Night

Tomorrow’s Bridge Night has been cancelled as the Bridge has not been delivered yet due to the floods. Keep an eye on the noticeboard outside the Butcher’s for further news.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Ginger Art – Our First Commission!

Well,

We’ve arrived!

“Daring, Brave, Challenging, Decisive, Bold, Witty, Urbane, Erotic, Erratic, Cobblers, Genre Defining, Lithe, Nibble and Chomp” – all words used to describe “Ginger Wig And Biscuits – Dunk Me” our first foray into the previously little known sub genre art of wigs and biscuits on plates next to eachother.

As our regular arts critic Brian Sewer remarked, “Biscuits imply tea. Tea is liquid. Gin is liquid. Make mine a double Barkeep!”

If you have £2,500 it is yours.

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Since my last Column I’ve made some fish. Tench mostly. but there is the odd Perch in there too. They will go in my pond. In my garden. Out the back of my house.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Last Supper –  Da Vinci’s masterpiece. The last supper I had was a cheese sandwich and a slice of pork pie. Very tasty it was although it repeated on me for a while.

2. Movies

Seven Years in Tibet – Brad Pitt up a mountain. Then in a monastery. He has a German accent. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Motorhead – The Ace of Spades – You can’t beat a good shovel. Lemming has a great voice. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Homer’s Odyssey – Tale about a Greek bloke who goes to war and then comes back after a few years. Set in Greece. Goes on a bit though.

5. Zumba Club

Tomorrow’s Zumba Club will now take place in the Frozen Foods aisle in Spar and not as previously advertised in the World Foods aisle. Someone dropped a bottle of Salsa and Sally won’t get round to clearing it up until tomorrow.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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