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Hello Folks,

Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS, will provide a daily round-up of events at the London 2012 Olympics that are, quite simply London 2012. Here is his update for Day 3.

Hello everyone,

Great to see Team GB win its first medals. Well done Girls! A Dutch rider won the cycling. I say fair play but demand a DRUG TEST. It was obvious the only way she could beat the plucky Brit was by downing a few pints of EPO before the start.

Generally the knees I’ve seen have been wonderful. Much better than previous Games. 

The sailing started too. In the water. I listened to it on the Radio for a while. Doesn’t lend itself to radio does sailing.

MacDonald’s are offering their unused corporate seats to anyone who isn’t obese. That’s really kind of them!  

Anyway there are a couple of sports I think you should look out for today.

1. Synchronised Sarcasm  –  A great chance for Ecuador to medal today. Their team of Martinez, Garcia and Pollyputthekettleoncahoutec told me yesterday that their only concern was the team from Lesotho, “Because like they are really, really good.”

I wonder if they were being sarcastic? They are cheeky pan piping chappies!

2. Five Metre Prone Ham Sandwich Making –  A really open contest, possibly too close to call. The New Zealander, Rod Pelvis is the defending champion and his reverse butter spread backhand may give his great rival, Ireland’s Tony O’Chutney problems.

O’Chutney told me, “He may have the reverse butter spread backhand but I’ve perfected the split tin tap down and contingent slice. Bring it on!”

Enjoy The Games! Sooty.

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Hello,

The Olympics have started. We hope you enjoyed the opening ceremony (we didn’t have a clue either) and will enjoy the sports fest that is, quite simply London 2012.

We can’t compete with the media terms of reporting the unfurling drama that is, quite simply London 2012.

Ginger Sooty will be searching out the stories that go under the radar, the stealth stories. Athletes’ heartache, joy, sadness and all the striving that they have striven for in order to achieve their goal of achieving their goal. For this is quite simply London 2012.

So Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS, where should we be looking for glory in these Olympics?

Hello everyone, Ginger Sooty here. Can’t believe the Olympics have finally started. Did you see Paul McCartney last night? Is he now made of wax? Macca mate, you are a legend – no need to coat yourself in formaldehyde!

Anyway there are a couple of sports I think you should look out for today.

1. Formation Immolation – Led by three-time world immolation champion, Ash Smoulder, Team GB has a real medal chance in this event. Despite feeling a little burned out after the qualification round, Ash is confident of victory, if he can reform in time. If he wins he will set the country alight! (as well as himself).

2. Pillow Dribble Staining – The Central Asian Republic of Tyzkiastan will grind to a halt at 3 pm (GMT) when the country’s greatest athlete and legendary Pillow Dribble Stainer, Olga Bonjelarenko goes for her fifth succesive Olympic Gold.

Blessed with a saliva so toxic, that the tongues of potential suitors have to be sheathed in lead, Bonjelarenko is hoping to repeat her performance in Beijing where the stain on her pillow remains visible from Outer Space.

Enjoy The Games! Sooty.

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