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Posts Tagged ‘Princess Katherine’

Prince Randy Andy’s reputation was given another kicking today when his unfaithful, adulterous, toe-suckee former wife Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson spoke up for the Duke of Golf.

No Suprises There!

Fergie and Andy In Happier Times

She spoke to reporters Monday in Verbier in the Swiss Alps, “The York family is a tight unit. We’ve always been a tight unit.He is the greatest man there is. It was the finest moment of my life in 1986 when I married him. He is a great man, the best in the world.”

Fergie divorced “the best man in the world” many many years ago.

Fergie also told a pal, “Jeez the things I have to say to keep the moolah rolling in from him and to keep my name in with the Yanks. He’s the intelligence of an egg whisk. Squeezing boils was more fun than listening to him prattle on about his sand game. The Twat.”

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Fragrant and Hirsute – The Perfect Combo

Prince Charles has asked Prince William to chivvy along her Royal Fragrance and loveliness Our Kate and squeeze out the second sprog.

Lord Sidney Itch, Purveyor to the Royal Rash, told Gfb’s Daphne Kerplunk, “Chuck’s going fucking bonkers on this one. He reckons if Kate can give birth, preferably at the live final of Britain’s Got Talent in a few weeks time , it will take the pressure of Randy Andy and not threaten Chuck’s chances of getting his greasy little mitts on Mama’s orb and sceptre.”

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Worried

 

 

 

 

 

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I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I have been predicting predictions, with little accuracy for a number of years now.

I am up with the Lark, delivering milk in my hometown of Devizes. I also deliver eggs, orange juice, potatoes, bread (wholemeal mostly but the occasional white sliced) and yoghurt.

So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell?

1. Hairy knees will be this year’s must have accessory amongst the Hollywood glitterati.

2. Vladimir Putin’s testicles will douse a giant forest fire in Siberia.

3. Terry Wogan’s wig to be granted World Heritage Status by UNESCO.

4. Princess Kate to have her first baby and call the girl George.

Will these prove accurate readers? Only time will tell………

Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” –

Deirdre in Stockton,

It’s behind the flour tin.

Aranja in Pamplona

The loose floorboard under the stairs.

Malisarno in Palermo

You will find the answer on the blind woman’s mole

 

Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny. Until next time……….I’ll keep me pints a rattlin’ for ye!

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We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……

Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..

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Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,

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The Bearded Prince

“I am flabbergasted,” said Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox! magazine, “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance.  Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”

Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”

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Beardy_Kate

 

 

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