Sarah Ferguson Speaks Up For Prince Andrew – Will Kate Accelerate Pregnancy?

Prince Randy Andy’s reputation was given another kicking today when his unfaithful, adulterous, toe-suckee former wife Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson spoke up for the Duke of Golf.

Fergie and Andy In Happier Times

She spoke to reporters Monday in Verbier in the Swiss Alps, “The York family is a tight unit. We’ve always been a tight unit.He is the greatest man there is. It was the finest moment of my life in 1986 when I married him. He is a great man, the best in the world.”

Fergie divorced “the best man in the world” many many years ago.

Fergie also told a pal, “Jeez the things I have to say to keep the moolah rolling in from him and to keep my name in with the Yanks. He’s the intelligence of an egg whisk. Squeezing boils was more fun than listening to him prattle on about his sand game. The Twat.”

Fragrant and Hirsute – The Perfect Combo

Prince Charles has asked Prince William to chivvy along her Royal Fragrance and loveliness Our Kate and squeeze out the second sprog.

Lord Sidney Itch, Purveyor to the Royal Rash, told Gfb’s Daphne Kerplunk, “Chuck’s going fucking bonkers on this one. He reckons if Kate can give birth, preferably at the live final of Britain’s Got Talent in a few weeks time , it will take the pressure of Randy Andy and not threaten Chuck’s chances of getting his greasy little mitts on Mama’s orb and sceptre.”

Worried

 

 

 

 

 

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Pregnant Kate! Picture Exclusive!

Boy do the Royals work fast!

With the Scottish Referendum vote so close, PM David Cameron ordered Kate and Wills to, “Produce Prince Sprog pronto old chap.”

And quicker than you can say, “I thought Mel Gibson was terrific in Braveheart – FREEEEEEEDUMB!” the slaphead Prince confirms his sperm count once again!

We are as thrilled that our Kate is pregnant with the future Prince Thing of Blighty  – As Royal Watcher Tiggy Winkle-Harumph told Gfb, “We can now add fecundity to Kate’s list of achievements!”

That Glorious Day….

And George will have a brother or sister to Rule!

 

 

 

 

 

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Happy Birthday Prince George

We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……

Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..

 

Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,

The Bearded Prince

Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox magazine said,  “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance.  Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”

Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”

 

 

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Happy Birthday Prince George!

We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……

Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..

 

Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,

The Bearded Prince

“I am flabbergasted,” said Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox! magazine, “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance.  Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”

Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”

 

 

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Kate Middleton Is Great!

It was only a few months ago that Kate tied the knot with Wills. But more details of  Kate’s wonderfulnessnessness are emerging.

Our Kate

She recently invented the one prong pitch fork and as the picture below reveals, Kate has undertaken some rather nifty genetic engineering to improve the performance of Sea Horses.

Tiggy Frumpington-Bumlick, keeper of the Royal Ruler commented, “It just shows what a great gal Kate is, although Princess Anne is none too pleased.”

Kate's Redesigned Sea Horse

“Naff Orff!” Anne said to Gfb’s correspondent. But as our hardest working Royal we will let her off this time. Why only yesterday she talked to people who stood in line to meet her.

Such has been Kate’s impact on the animal kingdom that a colony of fruit bats in Mexico have become diurnal just to improve their chance of catching a glimpse of her sometime in the future.

Kate’s sister, Piggyinthe Middleton has set up a TV company, Kate Is Great Productions. Three documentaries about Kate are currently in production. “Wills I Love You Even Though You Are Prematurely Bald” and “Kate – The Heroin Years” have already in the can. The third film “Kate – How the Universe Was Created” is in pre-production.

It is this film which is causing a stir amongst egg-heads, with Kate controversially postulating her theory that the Universe was created during the development of household cleaning products in a galaxy far far away.

This Cillit Bang Theory has been labelled extraordinary by Prof Eric Tanline.

She also claims to know what lies beyond the Universe and has ingeniously labelled it “Stuff”.

Can’t wait for her to be Queenie.

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