Pregnant Kate! Picture Exclusive!

Boy do the Royals work fast!

With the Scottish Referendum vote so close, PM David Cameron ordered Kate and Wills to, “Produce Prince Sprog pronto old chap.”

And quicker than you can say, “I thought Mel Gibson was terrific in Braveheart – FREEEEEEEDUMB!” the slaphead Prince confirms his sperm count once again!

We are as thrilled that our Kate is pregnant with the future Prince Thing of Blighty  – As Royal Watcher Tiggy Winkle-Harumph told Gfb, “We can now add fecundity to Kate’s list of achievements!”

That Glorious Day….

And George will have a brother or sister to Rule!

 

 

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

Happy Birthday Prince George

We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……

Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..

 

Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,

The Bearded Prince

Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox magazine said,  “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance.  Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”

Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”

 

 

Read Full Post »

Ginger Mysticism – With The Mystic Milkman

I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I have been predicting predictions, with little accuracy for a number of years now.

I am up with the Lark, delivering milk in my hometown of Devizes. I also deliver eggs, orange juice, potatoes, bread (wholemeal mostly but the occasional white sliced) and yoghurt.

So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell?

1. Hairy knees will be this year’s must have accessory amongst the Hollywood glitterati.

2. Vladimir Putin’s testicles will douse a giant forest fire in Siberia.

3. Terry Wogan’s wig to be granted World Heritage Status by UNESCO.

4. Princess Kate to have her first baby and call the girl George.

Will these prove accurate readers? Only time will tell………

Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” –

Deirdre in Stockton,

It’s behind the flour tin.

Aranja in Pamplona

The loose floorboard under the stairs.

Malisarno in Palermo

You will find the answer on the blind woman’s mole

 

Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny. Until next time……….I’ll keep me pints a rattlin’ for ye!

Read Full Post »

Happy Birthday Prince George!

We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……

Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..

 

Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,

The Bearded Prince

“I am flabbergasted,” said Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox! magazine, “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance.  Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”

Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”

 

 

Read Full Post »

World Exclusive! Princess Kate And Baby Prince George – Aaaaaaah

Gingerfightback has paid a shedload to get this lovely snap of Royal Mum Kate and her little lad George – do you think he takes after his Mum?

Fine Beard My Son!

As Royal watcher Larry Sags commented “Gawd Bless ’em – makes yer proud to be British – wanna buy a towel?”

We also proud you this early snap of Mum and tot – boy oh boy he’s changed in these first few months of life! (We think the beard suits her to).

Kate was positively blooming in pregnancy!

Even nutty Prince Charles donned a sausage on his royal bonce to greet his Grandson.

And Queenie and Phil jumped for joy at the news!

 

Lavinia Wet-Wipe, National Secretary of Kate Is Great said, “That girl could flog me one of her farts and then light it in front of me. I’d still be delighted. Whatever she does it is brilliant. And if you don’t agree I’ll cut yer knackers off. God Save The Queen!”

                                                                                    

                                                                                                          

Read Full Post »