Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Last Supper –  Da Vinci’s masterpiece. The last supper I had was a cheese sandwich and a slice of pork pie. Very tasty it was although the pork pie repeated on me for a while and the cheese gave me nightmares.

2. Movies

Exodus – Batman takes the Jews on a long walk. Goes on a bit.

3. Literature

Little Women – Louisa May Alcott’s book about midget females. Lacks lesbian love lust. Goes on a bit.

4. Musicals

My Fair Lady – From “Cor Blimey Guv’nor!” to “High Nigh Brine Cow” in 3 hours! Lovely frocks too! 

Village News 

5. Zumba Club

Tomorrow’s Zumba Club will now take place in the Frozen Foods aisle in Spar and not as previously advertised in the World Foods aisle. Someone dropped a bottle of Soya Sauce and Sally won’t get round to clearing it up until tomorrow.

TCTP

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Arts World – Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel. Some Art reviews….

1. Painting

The Lady of Shalott – Waterhouse’s Pre-Raphaelite painting of a woman in a canoe without a paddle.  She can’t have got very far! In fact she was probably up Sh*t creek. Wonder what happened to the Post-Raphaelites?

2. Movies

Braveheart  – Mel Gibson daubed in woad dons a dress and says, “Wee Jock McTavish, Och Aye The Noo, Bagpipes, Shortbread, Haggis, Cobber” and other terms of Jockery – shouts “FREEEEDUUUUM!” then has his innards removed by a bloke in a cap – Goes on a wee bit.

3. Music

Led Zeppelin 2 – Hobbit Lovin’ Cock Rockers Love Muscle Removal Van? Sounds good to me – lots of songs about having their lemons being squeezed – must have been Pancake day when they recorded it – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

War Horse – Michael Morpurgo’s moving novel about a horse that goes to war. Goes on a bit.

5.Pottery

Protogeometric Style of Ancient Greece

My favourite period of Greek Pottery – it represents the return of craft production after the collapse of the Mycenaean Palace culture and is one of the few modes of artistic expression of this era known to us. By 1050 BC life in the Greek peninsula became sufficiently settled to allow a marked improvement in the production of earthenware. The style is confined to the rendering of circles, triangles, wavy lines and arcs, but placed with evident consideration and notable dexterity, probably aided by compass’ and multiple brush.

I’m going on a bit aren’t I…..and yes, I looked this up on Wikipedia.

Village News

The Village shop’s the new frozen foods section will be opened by Brad and Angelina on Saturday. Angelina has had, “Your daily shopping needs at your local Spar” tattooed on her left shoulder.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello Folks

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a Potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop down here in Lower Swell.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Mona Lisa – Da Vinci’s masterpiece – I too knew a girl called Lisa who moaned a lot.

The Original Version!

He Painted It – But Without A Yorkshire Pudding On His Head

2. Movies

Transformers – erm…..erm…..sorry……nope not a clue – why does it go on a bit?

3. Music

Beethoven’s 7th – it begins with; dum de dum dum dum de dum – goes on a bit thereafter.

4. Dance

The Nutcracker – Heavy hammed lads in tights and cod pieces go – PRANCE – PRANCE – LEAP! – Then thin birds in miniskirts go tippy toe -tippy toe – stand still – TWIRL!  – none of this has anything to do with nuts – which always confuses me.

PS What is a Potter’s favourite song?  Kiln Me Softly!

Village News

Whoever stole the Village notice board please return it.

Until next time……keep those wheels a spinning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews from the world they call “Art”.

1. Sculpture

Venus De Milo – It is armless enough.

2. Movies

The King and I – The slap head from The Magnificent 7 tries to get hold of Deborah Kerr after learning the lingo. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Nirvana – Nevermind –I was into Grudge in my teens –  Mum told me off for not tucking my shirt in.  Then New Kids On The Block came into my life….. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Graham Greene – Our  Man In Havana – The importance of vacuum cleaners as a nuclear deterrent.

5. Theatre

Romeo and Juliet – He loves her and she loves him. The families don’t get on. The vicar is a drug dealer. They die. Doth goeth oneth for a biteth.

Village News

A protest will take place outside the village hall tomorrow during the lactose intolerance group session. Intolerance cannot be tolerated in any form.

Til The Next Time

Keep That Wheel Turning!

TCTP

 

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello Folks,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

We are getting ready for the Christmas rush. Are you?

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Hay Wain –  Constable’s most famous painting.  I always thought he was a Policeman. It threw me for a while when my mate told me he wasn’t.

2. Movies

Die Hard – A bloke wearing a vest kills the bloke who played a wizard in Harry Potter. He can’t have been much of a wizard if he lets a bloke in a vest kill him. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Saturday Night Fever  – The Bee Gees were reborn with this album. I had a fever on Saturday Night. Went to the pub without drying my hair properly after a bath. Caught a chill. Goes on a bit (the album that is – not my fever – otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this).

4. Ballet

The Nutcracker – Big thighed lads prance about for some reason, whilst thin girls stand on tippy toes twirling. Then they finish. Roughly at the same time. Goes on a bit.

5. Poetry

Flute Notes From A Reedy Pond – Sylvia Plath ditty, “Hourly the eye of the sky enlarges its blank” – I haven’t a clue either.

Village News

We’ve been informed that shampoo is now in store in Spar. Next to tinned fish. Which I am assured is Dolphin Friendly.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Review – Terry Cotter The Potter

Our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter and his unique insight into the world they call “Art”.

Terry recently took up underwater pottery.  Tricky but rewarding.

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

1. Painting

The Lady of Shalott – Waterhouse’s peerless Pre-Raphaelite painting of a woman in a canoe without a paddle.  She can’t have got very far! In fact she was probably up Sh*t creek. Wonder what happened to the Post-Raphaelites?

2. Movies

Braveheart  – Mel Gibson daubed in woad dons a dress and says, “Wee Jock McTavish, Och Aye The Noo, Bagpipes, Shortbread, Haggis, Cobber” and other terms of Jockery – shouts “FREEEEDUUUUM!” then has his innards removed by a bloke in a cap – Goes on a wee bit.

3. Music

Led Zeppelin 2 – Too lazy to think of an album name why not, Hobbit Lovin’ Cock Rockers Love Muscle Removal Van? Sounds good to me – lots of songs about having their lemons being squeezed – must have been Pancake day when they recorded it – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Philip Roth – American Pastoral – This fella’s daughter goes a bit wonky and blows some people up. He goes a bit wonky as a result, gets cancer but doesn’t blow anybody up. Which is a relief. Goes on a bit.

5.Pottery

Protogeometric Style of Ancient Greece

My favourite period of Greek Pottery – it represents the return of craft production after the collapse of the Mycenaean Palace culture. Indeed, it is one of the few modes of artistic expression besides jewelry in this period since the sculpture, monumental architecture and mural painting of this era are unknown to us. Yet by 1050 BC life in the Greek peninsula seems to have become sufficiently settled to allow a marked improvement in the production of earthenware. The style is confined to the rendering of circles, triangles, wavy lines and arcs, but placed with evident consideration and notable dexterity, probably aided by compass’ and multiple brush.

I’m going on a bit aren’t I…..and yes, I looked this up on Wikipedia.

Village News

The village shop’s the new frozen foods section will be opened by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on Saturday. Angelina is so honoured she’s had, “Get all you daily shopping needs down at your local Spar” tattooed on her left shoulder.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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1 Year Of Arts Scene With Terry Cotter the Potter – Anniversary Special!

 

It has been a year now that our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello Folks,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Since my last Column I’ve had some good news. Upper Swell’s potter, Jay Clay, “The Funkfather Of The Throw” has had to close down due to the recession.

He used to make ashtrays with health warnings inscribed in them. Things like “Don’t hit anyone on the head with this ashtray” or “Stub out the Marlboro Light and go for a run you emphysemic bastard”.

Still he hope to make a go of things with his funk band “Earth n Ware n Fire”.

So, without further ado here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Scream – I like this painting a lot. It shows someone screaming. I reckon they have got toothache. Probably need a spot of root canal.

2. Movies

Lawrence of Arabia – Has Camels in it so bound to be brilliant. Goes on a bit though.

3. Origami

Take a sheet of paper. Fold it four times. Voila! A Swan!

4. Poetry

Wordsworth – I like him. Handy name for a poet too. Pity his odes don’t rhyme though. I like it when they rhyme.

5. Literature

Charles Dickens – Oliver Twist – Chubby Checker read it and the rest is pop history. Goes on a bit though.

Do you have any views on these pieces? If so drop me a line!

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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1 Year Of Arts Scene With Terry Cotter the Potter – Anniversary Special!

 

It has been a year now that our arts guru Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve made some plates for my local pub The Misgoynist and Duck as they have expanded their food sales. I call them surf n turf n earthenware.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Guernica –  Picasso’s most famous. I gurn a lot too. Especially if I eat pickled food.

2. Movies

Gone With The Wind –  Set in America. He doesn’t give a damn in the end. Nice staircase though. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

The Sex Pistols – Never Mind The Bollocks – I love a bit of folk rock, this is what Emerson Lake and Palmer would have sounded like if they hadn’t split up.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Yann Martell – Life of Pi – Pies don’t last long in my house! There’s a tiger in it. The book not the pie. Goes on a bit though.

Village News

The Local Cult’s Proposed Mass Suicide

Elsie has a sprained ankle and this event has been postponed. Keep an eye out in the Post Office window for a new date.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I have been commissioned by the local Lord of the Manor, Sir Giles Plaque-Buildup to make a six-foot ceramic figurine of his favourite shoe horn. Alistair.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Kiss – Klimt’s painting of two lovers kissing. I’m not a very good kisser – a phantom lower lip and congenital halitosis work against me.

2. Movies

The Towering Inferno –  Big building catches fire. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Miles Davis – Kind of Blue – Introduced Skeletal Harmonic Frameworks into Jazz. I don’t know either. Goes on a bit. Daddy-oh.

4. Contemporary Dance

National Dance Company of Wales – Virtual Descent – He’s naked, she’s naked – they stand in a bucket and wave trowels at each other – Goes on a bit.

5. Literature

David Copperfield – Charles Dickens classic novel about that magician bloke. Makes an elephant disappear at one point, but never explains the bouffant hair. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The  Film Society will be showing Bridge Over The River Kwai in the Church Hall on Saturday. Tickets are £1 each. It is hoped that Alec Guinness will introduce the film from beyond the grave.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve made some lovely ceramic mince pies for Christmas. Bit tough on the teeth my Nan reckons. Teach her to shoplift.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Girl With A Pearl Earring– Lovely one by Vermeer. Shame she didn’t have the pair though. Tough times back then.

2. Movies

Smokey And The Bandit – Goodness, Burt Reynolds was hairy. Throw a stick and he would fetch it I reckon. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

U2 – The Joshua Tree – Bonio (or is it Borneo?) wears a silly hat. Streets Have No Name? – Buy an A to Z is my advice. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

The 1984 Guinness Book Of Records – Got this for Christmas last year. From my wife. I don’t think she likes me very much. We are estranged apparently. If I knew what it meant I would be upset. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Christmas Carol Service

This will now take place in the local Spar’s Canned Vegetable/World Flavours aisle due to poor ticket sales.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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