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Posts Tagged ‘Pope Francis’

Hello!

To celebrate chinstrap month, here are some of the great and good who have proudly sport one.

As Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a chinstrap”.

Enjoy!

Here is heir to the throne Prince Charles complete with the Sausage of the Glen

charles chinstrap copy

Here Is The Pope!

pope_chin

And here is Steve McQueen!

 

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diving dalai 1

The Diving Dalai

Gingerfightback’s correspondent,  Ying-Yang Karma-Farmer-Hop Pole was delighted to see the Dalai Lama display his diving prowess recently when his holiness visited the Pond’s Forge swimming centre in Sheffield.

board copy

Inspecting The Boards!

Before you could say “Free Tibet!” the Bouncing Buddhist had stripped off his robes to reveal a well toned torso.

lama

 Famous Dalai Lama epithets about Diving.

1. “If we enter water too fast – budgie smugglers damage the knackers. Protect your knackers.”

2. “Belly flop is nature’s way of telling you  – you shite at diving.”

Last week it was the Pope on the Pommel. We are sure you agree these two leaders are certainly fit for purpose!

pommel2pope

The Pontiff displayed enormous strength and precision particularly in his flair kicks.

pommel 1pope

He Has Flair

Busty Born Again Catholic Beauty, Angharad Big Baps cooed, “First the Pope and now the Dalai! God damn I’m gettin’ me some ol’ time religion!”

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Gingerfightback’s gymnastics correspondent Jamal Roly-Poly was shocked to see his Holiness Pope Francis undertake a rigorous workout on fabled hardcore gymnastics apparatus – The Pommel!

pommel2pope

The Pontiff displayed enormous strength and precision particularly in his flair kicks which Roly-Poly considered to be County  Standard.

pommel 1pope

He Has Flair

Busty Born Again Catholic Beauty, Angharad Big Baps cooed, “Not only is the Pope really nice and Holy like but he is ripped as well – wouldn’t mind getting hold of his Holy Sacraments – Phwoaaarr – Off to Lourdes for me!”

His Holy Moly Muscleyness then confounded Roly Poly with a brill session on the Rings!

GB Gymnast, Lewis Smith told Gfb – “Gotta hand it to the Big Man – no swaying from his path and always managed to keep that cheeky chappie grin intact – Go Frankie Babe!”,

rings copy

The Pope hopes to compete at the Rio Olympics for The Vatican – we reckon he would be a shoe in for Gold (But can’t think of a Pope on a Rope gag)

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You Have To Hand It To Him!

You Have To Hand It To Him!

Azteca Stadium – Mexico City, Mexico- 1986

He was small,  stocky and had a lovely mop of hair. He had it all. And he did it in tiny, shiny shorts. He was Diego Armando Maradona.

England. Sturdy. Yeomen. Thick.

It was a clash. Not only of cultures and values but also hairstyles. England still trimmed by Mum; Argentina mulleted bandoleros. Boy, did they give the volumizer a bashing at half-time.

A war had divided the two nations. But one thing united both teams. Exceptionally tiny, shiny shorts.

As Peter Reid, the doughty Liverpudlian midfield enforcer, said about Maradona, “I just couldn’t get near him, me shorts had cut of the blood supply to me knackers. I can’t have no kids ‘coz of dem shorts laa.”

England could not cope with the titchy Buenos Aires Barrio boy. Diego was that good. But he was also a cheat. A cheat who drew inspiration from God.

THE HAND OF GOD.


As these photos display the infamous first goal, when he punched the chicken into the net over the head of English goalkeep, the perma-permed Shilts to put his Tangoing team ahead.

From a different angle the chicken looks suspiciously like a boiled ham. If that doesn’t scream Ham Ball we don’t know what does.

You’ve Got To Ham It To Him!

We'd Get Him In The End!

We’d Get Him In The End!

The result? Argentina won the game and went on to lift the World Cup of Footbally Bally.

Shiny shorts are still banned in England to this day.

Diego is now Pope.

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pope francis copy

 

Aunty Bill,

6 weeks ago I was walking along Blackpool Pier, whistling a cheery refrain when a seagull swooped down and pecked me in the unmentionables.

A nearby dog saw this and ambled and sniffed me “downstairs”. Then a monkey, who was eating an ice cream, came over and stuck the cone on me privates.

Finally a rather large Trappist monk leered at me and mimed a spanking motion – I deduced  a form of atonement for my sins.

At no time did my wheelchair bound partner offer to help me fend of these attacks. The monkey let down her tyres and I walked off in a huff with the ice cream cone still plonked on my little stick of Blackpool rock.

Blackpool Council called me this morning to ask when I was going to collect my girlfriend as she was still on the pier and struggling with barnacle build up.

Do you think I should go and collect her or just Fedex her a tyre pump and tell her to get on with it?

Daniel Defoe, Letherhead

Aunty Bill Replies!

Dear Dan

The scenario you describe has all the hallmarks of a sustained sesh on the bong. Seek help (and give me the number of your dealer).

Many years ago I witnessed first hand the damage drugs can do as a similar situation happened to a dear friend of mine (without the appearance of a monkey and wheelchair).

Said friend accompanied me to the city of Hamburg for a football tournament. After running away from an ex mate of the Beatles to avoid buying him a drink (another story for another time), he decided it would be a good idea to team up with a group of Mexicans and partake of a glass of Mescal.

This led to him to “Peyote Pete” and the beginnings of a Mescal Fury.

I myself was a tad messy and in the ensuing imbroglio we lost each other in the crowds of sozzled Mexicans. Some hours later I received a call from a panicked Oily who said he was on a giant gateaux travelling through the Black Forest with no idea how he got there.

It later transpired that he was in fact in a shop doorway near the train station covered in emulsion (Harvest Peach as it turned out, matt from memory).

Let this salutary tale be a warning to you Richard. Just say Nada.

However, If she can wheel herself to the nearest garage she can use the air line for a nominal fee (Jet Garages are free) thus saving you the cost and hassle of Fedexing a pump to her.

Trebles all round!

Aunty Bill

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Hello!

To celebrate world chinstrap week, Gingerfightback brings to you some of the great and good down the years who have proudly sported one.

As Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a chinstrap”.

Enjoy!

Here is heir to the throne Prince Charles complete with the Sausage of the Glen

charles chinstrap copy

Here Is The Pope!

pope_chin

And here is Steve McQueen!

 

Read Full Post »

Hello!

To celebrate world chinstrap week, Gingerfightback brings to you some of the great and good down the years who have proudly sported one.

As Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a chinstrap”.

Enjoy!

Here is Soccerball Legend, Chelsea manager and Portugese Man o’War, Jose “The Special One” Mourinho adjusting his straps

jose_chin

Here Is The Pope!

pope_chin

And here is Steve McQueen!

McQueen – The Great Escape – The Chinstrap

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