Mary Berry In Great British Jerk Off Shocker!

Fans of hit TV show, The Great British Bake Off were delighted to hear that Baking Guru, Mary “The Beast” Berry has set a new age category record for the Snatch in weightlifting.

Mary lifted 7 tons in Glasgow last night, whilst sporting one of her “absolutely scrummy” chocolate tier cakes. Asked about the secret behind her great strength, Mary smiled sweetly and replied, “I use massive amounts of steroids in my baking. My snatch is an absolute picture as a result but I do have to shave my chest occasionally!”

Not to be outdone co-host and self-styled Bad Boy of British Baking, Paul “Product” Hollywood also jerked himself to glory with a lift of 8.5 tons in Abergavenny last Tuesday, whilst balancing a pork pie on his head.

“I’ve nothing left to proof,” Hollywood said.

All that effort led to a soggy bottom I’m afraid

 

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Pies As Pets!

Imagine you own a dog called Rover, Fido, Barney or something else. One day you are out walking your dog and throw a ball or stick or body part for the mutt to chase and return. Sadly you forget your arm strength and the object lands in the deep undergrowth. Dog runs into said undergrowth in a show of canine fidelity. Cur never returns.

You are heartbroken and confused. What happened to your dog? What happened to your ball, stick or body part? To which there is no answer. You are bereft. How can you replace such a loyal, steadfast, slobber chopped companion?

Simple! With a pie!

Could This Be The Family Pet Of The Future?

Gingerfightback conducted an opinion poll in a pie shop in east London to find out which pie would make the best pet. Not surprisingly Apple Pie came out top. But savoury pies took most of the top positions! We asked Professor Alfred T. Damp-Patch, Professor of Advanced Cobblers at the University of Salamanca for his views and he told us, “Really? How interesting. I’m allergic to short crust pastry. Where’s the bar?”

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Jack Nicholson And A Sausage In The Shining! Sausage Request #46

This week’s request comes from a great friend of GFB, artist Marina Kavinaki whose wondrous works you can FIND HERE!

Marina asked for Jack Nicholson in The Shining to be sausaged.

As you can see from this section of the film The Sausage on Jack’s head drove him to break down “That Door” originally using a Meat Pie Head Axe.

Stanley Kubrick later re-shot the scene with a more traditional axe head.

 

The second photo shows Shelley working  out if she can swallow the dreaded Meat Pie Axe Head as it crashes through the door panel.

That must have been some tough pastry folks (note the hand crimping on the pie too – touch of class).

 

We gingered Jack a few months ago – here it is again!

 

 

IS THERE ANYTHING OR ANYONE YOU WOULD LIKE A SAUSAGE ADDED TO? LET US KNOW!

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Somebody Asked To See The Pope With a Pork Pie On His Head Image Again!

Somebody asked to see the Pope with a pork pie on his head image again – happy to oblige!

Pope Pius 23rd

Somebody asked to see the ginger Sphinx image again – happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the ginger Al Jolson image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the cute Polar Bear image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the Shane McGowan dancing in Riverdance image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

 

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

During His Fish Period

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The Pope Resigns – Good Pie Your Holiness!

Breaking News…..His Holiness Pope Crusty-Pieus XVII, has announced he is to retire from active Popedom on February 28th. We wish him well. Here is the photograph he sent us a couple of years ago. We think the pie suits him.

The Savoury Saviour

British PM, David Cameron said, “I will always treasure this signed Pasty from Pope Crusty-Pieus as a work of deep filled, hand finished Godliness.”

Cameron With The Papal Pasty

We understand that Tony Blair is considering putting his name forward to be the next Pontiff.  He said, “I, Tony Archangel Gabriel Blair, touched by insanity and a need of sausage meat, hereby do declare my fealty to popping in as Pope from time to time, as long as daily fee can be agreed in advance. Cash only. Amen.”

The Sausage Halo!

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