Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Painting’

Ginger Is A State Of Mind

Warhol. One word. One man.

“Ginger Wigs”.

A collection of Ginger Wigs. Wigs that are Ginger.

So brave. So challenging. So daring. So-da Stream.

 

Read Full Post »

Hello Folks

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a Potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop down here in Lower Swell.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Mona Lisa – Da Vinci’s masterpiece – I too knew a girl called Lisa who moaned a lot.

The Original Version!

The Original Version!

He Painted It – But Without A Yorkshire Pudding On His Head

2. Movies

Transformers – erm…..erm…..sorry……nope not a clue – why does it go on a bit?

3. Music

Beethoven’s 7th – it begins with; dum de dum dum dum de dum – goes on a bit thereafter.

4. Dance

The Nutcracker – Heavy hammed lads in tights and cod pieces go – PRANCE – PRANCE – LEAP! – Then thin birds in miniskirts go tippy toe -tippy toe – stand still – TWIRL!  – none of this has anything to do with nuts – which always confuses me.

PS What is a Potter’s favourite song?  Kiln Me Softly!

Village News

Whoever stole the Village notice board please return it.

Until next time……keep those wheels a spinning!

TCTP

Read Full Post »

Many of you will be aware of President George W Bush’s love of painting despite the fact that they can only be described as shite.

Did he draw inspiration from the famous Fresco restoration of Cecilia Giminez on Ecce Homo in The Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza?

Her handiwork was described as “A crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic.”

Do George and Cecilia share the same brush technique?

painting of putin
Whaddya think?

The Resemblance Is Uncanny!

Read Full Post »

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Water Lilies – Monet’s famous work. He was an Impressionist. I do impressions. Gwyneth Paltrow and Laurence Olivier are my best ones. Close your eyes and it is as if they are in the room with you.

2. Movies – GravityBollock and Cloney star in this film about  wonky goings on in space. Lacked a bit of atmosphere  – Tipped for Oscar glory though – Goes on a bit.

3. Music – Chopin Piano Sonatas – Plinky plonky plink. Plonkety, Plonkety, Plink. That’s the gist of it – Goes on a bit.

4. Ballet – Swan Lake  –  Lads with big thighs bounce around the stage for no apparent reason, whilst thin girls go tippy toe, tippy toe, tip tip tippy toe – again for no apparent reason Goes on a bit.

5. Opera – Turandot – Hefty lads and lasses warble about something. In a foreign language! Then a really big unit warbles really loudly for another bit. Then it ends. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Vicar’s rash has cleared up thanks to the liberal application of Calamine lotion and abstinence from fornication.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

Read Full Post »

 

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Scream – I like this Munch painting a lot. It shows someone screaming. I reckon they have got toothache. Probably need a spot of root canal.

2. Movies

Lawrence of Arabia – Has Camels in it so bound to be brilliant. Rihanna is wonderful in it and Eminem’s theme tune should win the Oscar. Goes on a bit though.

3. Origami

Take a sheet of paper. Fold it four times. Voila! A Swan!

4. Poetry

Wordsworth – I like him. Handy name for a poet too. Doesn’t rhyme though. I like it when they rhyme. He goes on a bit.

5. Literature

Charles DickensOliver Twist – Poor little lad has a tough time then everything is OK! Goes on a bit.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

Read Full Post »

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

We have a Sale on at the moment.

Here are reviews of some of my favourite bits of “Art”.

1. Painting

Autumn Rhythm – One of Jackson Pollock’s most famous. I don’t have a clue either.

2. Movies

Dances With Wolves – Don’t Dance With Wolves. They will eat you. Great car chase and the underwater fight scenes are wonderful. Who will ever forget Whitney Houston’s theme tune? Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Beyonce – I Am Sasha Fierce  – I love Beyonce. She screeches and warbles better than anyone I know – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

The Times Atlas Of The World – Got this for Christmas! Maps spelt backwards is Spam. Now there’s a thought. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Postman

Whoever stole his rubber band ball (10 years in the making) could they please return it. He was only four short of the world rubber band collection set by Magnus Fleischer, inventor of the buttoneer, in Hamburg in the 1960’s.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

Read Full Post »

Art experts were left agog this morning when it was discovered that Millais’ masterpiece “Ophelia” has become “Ophelia With Muzzy” to honour Movember.

“By the excretions of Queen Victoria I’m amazed! Astounded!” cried retired civil servant, John Wobbler who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat on Thanksgiving Day.Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

john_everett_millais_ophelia_resized copy

 

Read Full Post »

Art experts were left agog this morning when it was discovered that Pablo Picasso’s masterpiece “Tete La Femme” has become “Tete La Femme Avec Une ‘Airy Lip” to honour Movember.

“By the groin of General Franco I’m amazed! Astounded!” cried retired civil servant, Fernando Torres who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat. Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

oil-painting-tete-de-femme-by-spanish-painter-pablo-picasso-7433141 copy

Here is an image of Picasso smoking some fish fingers.

Read Full Post »

Hello Folks,

As the Amsterdam hangover fades, Gingerfightback continues to leave no stone unturned in our incessant quest for the truth. Fearless reporting, bribery and fabrication are in our armoury.

Brian Sewer, plummy mouthed onanist,found this version of the Mona Lisa in Arles in Southern France.  It has been carbon dated back as far as 1967 and the canvass is an authentic Cornflakes cereal packet. This is how Da Vinci Code really wanted his painting to end up.

As Brain said, “Note the brushwork, the enigmatic smile on her lips and above all the signature that rearranged, would spell Da Vinci.  It has to be authentic. I rest my case. Where’s the bar?”

What do YOU think art connoisseurs? FAKE or REAL?

 

Read Full Post »

Art experts were left agog this morning when it was discovered that Veremeer’s masterpiece had sprouted a ginger moustache to honour Movember.

“I’m amazed! Astounded! It’s Fan-tache-tic!” cried retired civil servant, Wim Van Anagram who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat. Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

Vermeer_The_Girl_With_The_Pearl_Earring_(1665) copy

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »