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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Water Lilies – Monet’s famous work. He was an Impressionist. I do impressions. Gwyneth Paltrow and Laurence Olivier are my best ones. Close your eyes and it is as if they are in the room with you.

2. Movies – GravityBollock and Cloney star in this film about  wonky goings on in space. Lacked a bit of atmosphere  – Tipped for Oscar glory though – Goes on a bit.

3. Music – Chopin Piano Sonatas – Plinky plonky plink. Plonkety, Plonkety, Plink. That’s the gist of it – Goes on a bit.

4. Ballet – Swan Lake  –  Lads with big thighs bounce around the stage for no apparent reason, whilst thin girls go tippy toe, tippy toe, tip tip tippy toe – again for no apparent reason Goes on a bit.

5. Opera – Turandot – Hefty lads and lasses warble about something. In a foreign language! Then a really big unit warbles really loudly for another bit. Then it ends. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Vicar’s rash has cleared up thanks to the liberal application of Calamine lotion and abstinence from fornication.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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