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Posts Tagged ‘Oily George’

Oily George’s latest erotic masterpiece “Hand Shandy III” will be available soon. The perfect Xmas gift .

Hello Oily

The hinge on my wardrobe door has a terrible squeak and every time I open it my pet Budgie, Roger enters a catatonic state.

I’ve tried a wide range of ungents, moisturisers and gels all to no avail.

Will you see if your abundant reservoirs of natural emulsifiers can silence the darn door and give Roger the peace he craves and deserves?

Ariadne, Ullapool

Hello Ariadne

Lordy this is my lucky week! Such a beautiful woman and Budgie both in need of my attentions! Of course I will slip by anytime to check on your wardrobe door. I will bring my vast array of elixirs and pungent purifying potions which will need to be applied on the hinges of your wardrobe doors, and locks. And your buttocks. And the Budgie. That should do the trick.

Whilst there, maybe I can tell you about the new company I am setting up, Long and Hard Productions. Looking for a new PA and I feel you will fit the bill perfectly.

The Oilster

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new oilyOily, 

Are you still auditioning for your new film Henry’s Hosepipe Heaven? In some bizarre twist of fate my penis has a built in sprinkler system and I would be ideal for the role of the hose.

Richard, Nuneaton

Oily Replies;

Due to the hot weather and inevitable hosepipe ban we had to hold off on that shoot. However you could end up answering many problems.

Have you full control over the sprinkler? Have you a remote control? Can you sprinkle in several directions simultaneously?

I need to know length and dimensions of said hosepipe. Perhaps send me a picture of your wife and her best friend Sophie that Friday night they got carried away on the girls night out.

Sorry you don’t have such a pic? Ok.

You want one?

Oily

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