Still Giving Lurve
Pump Up The Volume
Last night I applied hair volumiser to my pubic region. I woke up this morning with a crotch so bouffant that I can’t put my pants on.
I have a big date with Natalie from accounts tonight, was hoping to take things to the next level – but what is she going to think when I drop me strides and mr pubic Afro pops into view?
Worried Les
Oily Replies;
When pondering these problems I like to slither into my bath, lay myself in Extra Industrial Castrol and let nature take it’s course. I do all my best , ahem, pondering in the bath.
I then retire to the drawing room donning my ‘Noel Coward Rocks My World’ silk dressing gown and matching slippers, sip a brandy and ponder further the problems that beset my poor readers.
Shave the offending pubes into the shape of something meaningful to Natalie, something that will make her realise she is with a man who has empathy and isn’t afraid to show his feminine side.
The following are some suggestions of the images that most speak to the sweet little things;
A flower
A fluffy kitten playing with a ball of string
A 6 month old baby gurgling in a pram in a summer’s meadow with the sun blazing down.
An ironing board.
Cutting your mangy pubes into any of the above is a romantic gesture and would win over the hardest of hearts and ensure you get your oats.
If it doesn’t then she’s obviously a lesbian. If that’s the case get your camcorder and follow her home…..I pay big money for such footage.
Oily
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