Kate Middleton – Ninja Assassin!

Is She Dishing It Out In Buenos Aires?

Gfb has learned that Our Kate has been sent on a secret mission to bongo bongo land to sort out some more Johnny Foreigner types. We had previously reported that the Duchess of Lovely Pure Virginity Unsullied By Carnal Desires Of Man Or Beast was a member of the Cobra Kingfisher Singh Viper Assassination Hit Squad, the ultra-secret ginger ninja hit squad.

Bunty - Kate's Submersible Pony

Kate, who recently attended an art gallery and looked at some drawings, ALONE! has been spotted training in the sea, staying at Butlins, Minehead with the crack CKSVAHS (Damp Division).

Even In Rubber She Looks Wonderful

This exclusive photo of Kate in her war apparel suggests something fishy to us.

Kate was aboard her submersible horse, Bunty, on the secret mission.

We believe the target to be Argentina –  due to the recent tension between Britain and Argy Bargy land over the Falkland Islands. They also cheated us in the World Cup. Bastards.

Major Melatonin Lever-Arch, Slurper in Chief of the Royal Soup commented “With Kate on the job old Pampas Pedro won’t stand a chance! She’ll dish it to Diego! Now Lady Sin, a little tighter if you please.”

British PM Cameroon has ordered HMS Ginger to back up Kate’s activities. The mighty Ginger has left Hackney Wick swimming baths is being pedaled furiously the 8,000 miles to the South Atlantic. It has just reached Tower Bridge, so still some ways to go.

"We're Gonna Need A War Clegg"

We wouldn’t want to be in Maradona’s shoes right now (Bastard).

We'd Get Him In The End!

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Kate Middleton Is Great #2

Details have emerged recently that Our Kate may be part of the ultra secret Ginger Ninja Cobra Kingfisher Singh Viper Assassination Hit Squad (Sponsored by American Express).

A Radiant Princess

The shadowy outfit have been linked to the deaths of among others, Saddam Hussein, Colonel Gaddafi, Osama Bin Laden, Charlie Sheen’s career and are also believed to have been behind the shooting of JR Ewing and Bambi’s mum.

Is This Kate As A Ginger Ninja?

Kate, who recently collected flowers from children using both hands, has been secretly training with the secretive squad in secret in a secret place near Berlin.

As we pointed out a month or so ago, Kate has also undertaken some rather nifty genetic engineering to improve the performance of Sea Horses. We believe these animals form the infamous Sea Horse Death Viperhead Squadron. Deadly when offered a carrot or sugar lump.

The Sea Horse Death Viperhead Squadron In Action

To further confuse their targets the ninjas hum songs from the classic musical Oliver, with “Food! Glorious Food!” having a remarkable 89% hit rate.

Colonel Idris Deckchair, former commander of the black Ops outfit commented, “It wouldn’t surprise me. I once saw Kate talk to poor people at a community centre in Melbourne. She showed no fear talking to these people. If she can do that, she can do anything.” He then tried to throttle Gfb’s reporter before turning into a tea towel and making good his escape.

As the photo below shows, Kate is a master of disguise. Who would have thought!

Kill Bill?

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