Posts Tagged ‘New Year’

I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I predict predictions.

These were my predictions for 2014.

1. December 2012 – Like The Mayans I believe the world will end on 21st December 2012.

2. 2014 – Feet will be bigger in 2014 by an average of 7.54% per toe.

3. July 2014 –   Nelson Mandela will finally depart the earth for a better place.

As you can see I was right about Nelson whilst NASA has confirmed that toes are 3.68% bigger on average this year.  The world did end in 2012 but most men have yet to notice due to internet porn.

I know you are agog with anticipation to learn of my predictions for 2015.

So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell?

1. Everyone will take pointless images of themselves. These images will be called Selfies.

2. Dallas will be reinvented as a healthy eating soap opera set in the elasticated waistbanded, masticated heartland of Texas. Sallad will be the year’s Breaking Bad.

3. Taylor Swift’s nasal passage will be the setting for the new Star War’s franchise. She will sneeze the Millenium Falcon into hyper-space in spectacular fashion! “The Empire’s Hooter” will be a box office smash.

Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” –

Elaine, Walthamstow

The cat ate it.

Barbara, Adelaide

Mum kept the receipt in case you didn’t like the blouse.

Liang Bo in Shanghai

Bo Bing thinks velcro fasteners would be a safer bet for you.

Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny.

Until next time……….HAPPY 2011!

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Happy New Year!

As an Urban Dance Collective, this is a busy time for the Gfb crew. But I did manage to round some of them up and send some sort of New Year’s message. Some are nice. Some are stupid. Some are….well you decide.

Oily George

Hi there my pretty young things. Wishing you a slithery new year and that all your dreams are wet.

Aunty Bill

Happy New Year to you all from my Open Prison – If you are planning a new relationship in 2014, it is OK to have one with cooked meats. If you want. But don’t involve pickles.

Bob on the Pot

Happy New Year –  I’m hoping my rash clears up and my skidmarks are much diminished as a result of the new bidet.


Terry Cotter The Potter 

Happy 2014 – It will go on for a bit.

The Sperm With A Perm

Happy New Year! Just hope I have  a chance to impregnate!

 Stench McBain – Ginger Ninja Warrior One Man War Gone Rogue Gone Bad

Happy New Year – I hope I don’t have to kill a man from three hundred yards with just a hint of sarcasm


Barry Belcher – The Mystic Milkman

Is it New Year?

Agnes DuPont – Her amazing previous lives

I spent 1492 as Christopher Columbus’ left shoe – that was a great year (Do you think she is lying?)

The Tight Fisted Traveller

He is currently living the life of a penguin en route to the South Pole (in economy class naturally)and so didn’t send anything.

That was nice. Heartfelt. What a lovely bunch of misfits and nincompoops. As we say you either get it or you don’t – it is touching to see that so many thousands of people have. Even in Uzbekistan!

Thanks also to everyone’s support in our anti-bullying stance this year especially in taking on Kick A Ginger Day in November. We did manage to get the Twitter account taken down and hopefully stopped some kid getting a kicking because of the colour of their hair. We will continue the good fight in 2014.

So, here’s to a nonsensical 2014 – I hope your dreams are realised and fears squashed!

Better A Redhead Than A Deadhead!

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Here’s to a brainy New Year!


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Happy New Year Folks,

I hope you’ve had as much of a giggle at the nonsenses served up on Gfb as I have. As it is a time for reflection, nay, cogitation Cecilia Giminez’s efforts at mural restoration still has me roaring with laughter.

Print it off and stick it on your foreheads for a day to give millions of people and their pets a chortle or two at the start of the New Year!

You may recall Cecilia taking her brush to Ecce Homo in The Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza.

An official declared, “The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic.”

Gfb did its bit to restore the restoration so to speak.

Revisiting the image after a couple of Jameson’s over Crimbo has only further convinced us of the similarity to another well known “hairy monkey in an ill fitting tunic”.

The Resemblance Is Uncanny!

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