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Posts Tagged ‘Moustaches’

Gee Junior!

Looks like the home of The President of Th USA has grown a giant ginger moustache to honour Movember!

“Wooooooooo!” Exclaimed Peyton Place III Jr as he skateboarded to the baker’s to buy his pet cat some fish. Without success. So he  visited an insurance broker again with no success!

The-White-House copy

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There was panic on le streets of gay Paris today, when slovenly Frenchmen awoke to discover that “The Eiffel Tower” had sprouted a glorious ginger moustache for Movember.

“Zoot alors,” cried John-Pierre Nonchalant-Shrug from his local boulangerie where he goes every morning to buy a piece of fish for his cat. Without success.

Eiffel-Tower4_edited-1

Le Tour Le ‘Tache

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Recently voted the world’s most oiligible Bachelor in the famous German periodical “Dass Is Grossen Grossen,” Oily George is here to provide common sense advice in a mad mad world. From food to hair, Oily cares!

Hello Oily

As a man who knows about classy erotica, would you put pickle in a cheese sandwich?

Gert, Munich

Oily Replies,

Hey Gert,

In the lather-me-in-mayo-and-spank-my-bare-botty market that I cater for, a cheese and pickle sandwich is staple fare for actors and crew alike.

In fact it is a well known but mainly ignored fact that when sandwiches were invented in the 16th Century by rakish dandy, the Earl of Pastie, sex didn’t exist. But if it did he doubtless would have enjoyed such sumptuous fare

Anyway you are getting me reet peckish, I need my own particular sandwich.

Kirsty! Tabitha! it’s Banana Splitz time. I got the banana, my sweet little eye candies.

Oily

Hello Oily

Which do you think is more likely to make a comeback as a to die hairstyle for men, the perm or the mullet?

Toby, Moray

Oily Replies,

Toby,

A combination of both really. Think 70’s Kevin Keegan meets…..quick check on google…….Billy Ray Cyrus. I think my fellow freak, the moustachioed porn star and occasional footballer Rudi Voller perfected the look in the late 80’s.

Personally as you will see from my pic I am going for the sleek and sensual Silver Fox look. Easily maintained and always stays in position even when I have my ‘watersports’ weekends with the Compton Fetishist Society here in Crazy City.

Yes my now legendary sexual proclivities are not bound by class creed or colour. Or species, if you believe the tittle tattle written in the Catholic Herald this week. But I deny those charges vehemently.

Was simply a misunderstanding.

Regards, Oily

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