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Posts Tagged ‘Martial Arts’

Hello,

We present the following, admittedly grainy image of Kung Fu legend Bruce Lee in a fight with Chuck Norris.

It is from Bruce’s last film, “The Way Of The Sausage”. The still is from the denouement of the film in which Bruce thwarts a gang of Chinese Triads who are up to no good. He retains the sausage with perfect balance throughout.

Why Chuck has got a Scone on his head is anybody’s guess.

sausage

So upset was Chuck at Bruce’s death that in every film he has made since he wears a sausage in Bruce’s honour. Here is Chuck in a Kung Fu remake of Pride and Prejudice called, “Die Hard For A Bit One Man War Gone Rogue Miss Bennett,” Pt 2 The Revenge. 

chuck norris copy

Here Is Steven Seagal Wearing A Chinstrap

seagal

No oil painting is he!

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Kung Fu Chicken

Crouching Tiger Hidden Chicken

This film is very long and features people running around a lot and being enigmatic. It went on and on and on and on and on and on. So on and on that Gfb fell asleep halfway through only to be shoved in the ribs by Madame Fightback to quell the old adenoids.

The film? It is about a hunchback Tiger looking for his best mate, a chicken that has gone missing during a game of hide and seek. He looks everywhere;  up on roofs, walls, behind doors and in wardrobes. Sadly he can’t find her so has a big swordfight with a few fellas instead. Then he jumps off a cliff.

The chicken turns up shouts, “Surprise! You couldn’t find me! I win!” only to discover her mate is dead. She jumps off the cliff. Being a chicken she cannot fly and pops her clogs too.

We were going to do Enter The Chicken but this is a family orientated site.

Here’s what the critics had to say,

“You’ll believe a chicken can do a kung fu chop!” The Delaware Doubter.

“Jet Lay is set for a brilliant career. A real feather in his cap this one!” The New York Times

“The most realistic depiction of chickens in a Martial Arts film I have ever seen!” The Houston Chronicle.

Sadly, the remake of the film provisionally entitled Kung Fu Chicken or KFC for short was never made.

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