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Posts Tagged ‘Lesbian’

Hello Oily

Try as I might, I cannot get the man of my dreams to notice me. He is tall, handsome, buck toothed with personal hygiene issues. I am currently invisible and think that this may have something to do with it.

What can I do Oily?

Paula, Taunton

Oily Replies;

Paula, people are becoming invisible every day. I have made a documentary nay, a social commentary – on this very subject.

What I do is I take on the cloak of invisibility and explore four aspects of every day life.

I film female welders at the end of their shift as they let their hair down of a weekend. The following week I am with the convent nuns of the Mother Theresa Church of Extreme Holiness and I am there as they pray and play.

The third episode is about life in an 18 year olds Swiss Girls Finishing me off school and the final one is the heart rending tale of the trials and tribulations of the Santa Monica Beach Volleyball team in the G String Championships.

I don’t mind telling you that by the end of the filming I was spent. Red raw I was. Very emotional. “The Bulging Cloak Of Invisibility” Is available now on DVD.

 

Oily

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The Queen of Hingeland?

Tanktop McBain, Gfb’s lead reporter has learned today that Moma Grizzly, Sarah Palin’s romance with The Pope is over. For more info follow this link – http://gingerfightback.com/2011/12/09/sarah-palins-lovelife/

The doyen of the Pea Tarty, who recently sought to ban Whales because they were big, is being consoled by her lawn mower after the goose stepping Pontiff ditched her for what he laughably described as “God”.

Palin was devastated to finally understand that celibacy was not a delicately cook white fish and was in fact a well-known person with a lisp.

Pope Pius 23rd

“I sure is devastated, but heck y’know life goes on!” Sarah told a close pal whilst teaching her kids, Cre, Ati, On, Ism about the inherent evil that earthworms pose to mankind.

Liz’s Lezzer Lust!

Rumours ripen by the second however that Sarah is now in the arms of a new lover, The Queen of England. She and Lesbo Liz have been seen strolling around Anchorage hand in hand, giggling like school kids and looking dreamily into each other eyes.

“Shucks!” cried Palin, “I admit it. That Liz is one hot bit of ass! You’ll never have a frown once you’ve tried some Windsor Crown!”

She's A Malteser

What first attracted the two lovers? Honeycombed chocolate balls it would appear to us!

However, Buckingham Palace remains tight lipped about the rumours.

"Nature's Played A Cruel Trick On Her"

“Bollocks,” the Keeper of The Royal Satsuma told Gfb, “Her Royal Sinus is not havin’ it large with Ms Palin. Now clear off – I want to watch the repeat of CSI – mind you it is not the same since Grissom left is it?”

So it must be true then.

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