Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Last Supper –  Da Vinci’s masterpiece. The last supper I had was a cheese sandwich and a slice of pork pie. Very tasty it was although the pork pie repeated on me for a while and the cheese gave me nightmares.

2. Movies

Exodus – Batman takes the Jews on a long walk. Goes on a bit.

3. Literature

Little Women – Louisa May Alcott’s book about midget females. Lacks lesbian love lust. Goes on a bit.

4. Musicals

My Fair Lady – From “Cor Blimey Guv’nor!” to “High Nigh Brine Cow” in 3 hours! Lovely frocks too! 

Village News 

5. Zumba Club

Tomorrow’s Zumba Club will now take place in the Frozen Foods aisle in Spar and not as previously advertised in the World Foods aisle. Someone dropped a bottle of Soya Sauce and Sally won’t get round to clearing it up until tomorrow.

TCTP

Read Full Post »

Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello Folks

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a Potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop down here in Lower Swell.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Mona Lisa – Da Vinci’s masterpiece – I too knew a girl called Lisa who moaned a lot.

The Original Version!

He Painted It – But Without A Yorkshire Pudding On His Head

2. Movies

Transformers – erm…..erm…..sorry……nope not a clue – why does it go on a bit?

3. Music

Beethoven’s 7th – it begins with; dum de dum dum dum de dum – goes on a bit thereafter.

4. Dance

The Nutcracker – Heavy hammed lads in tights and cod pieces go – PRANCE – PRANCE – LEAP! – Then thin birds in miniskirts go tippy toe -tippy toe – stand still – TWIRL!  – none of this has anything to do with nuts – which always confuses me.

PS What is a Potter’s favourite song?  Kiln Me Softly!

Village News

Whoever stole the Village notice board please return it.

Until next time……keep those wheels a spinning!

TCTP

Read Full Post »

Time To See Leonardo da Vinci With Three Yorkshire Puddings On His Head (Again!)

Hello Folks,

Gingerfightback leaves no stone unturned in our incessant quest for the truth. Fearless reporting, bribery and fabrication are in our armoury.

We have employed the services of Brian Sewer, plummy mouthed onanist, to investigate how Ginger art was often retouched, in what was known as the degingerficationanism, of some of the world’s greatest pieces.

 

Brian found this version of the Mona Lisa in Arles in Southern France.  It has been dated back as far as 1967 and the canvass is an authentic Cornflakes cereal packet. This is how Lenny Da Vinci Code really wanted his painting to end up.

As Brain said, “Note the brushwork, the enigmatic smile on her lips and above all the signature that rearranged, would spell Da Vinci.  It has to be authentic. I rest my case. Where’s the bar?”

What do YOU think art connoisseurs? FAKE or REAL?

 

Read Full Post »