Posts Tagged ‘Kate Middleton’

Boy do the Royals work fast!

With the Scottish Referendum vote so close, PM David Cameron ordered Kate and Wills to, “Produce Prince Sprog pronto old chap.”

And quicker than you can say, “I thought Mel Gibson was terrific in Braveheart – FREEEEEEEDUMB!” the slaphead Prince confirms his sperm count once again!

We are as thrilled that our Kate is pregnant with the future Prince Thing of Blighty  – As Royal Watcher Tiggy Winkle-Harumph told Gfb, “We can now add fecundity to Kate’s list of achievements!”

What A Glorious Day That Was

That Glorious Day….

And George will have a brother or sister to Rule!

prince george2 copy






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We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……

Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..

george copy


Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,

prince george2 copy

The Bearded Prince

“I am flabbergasted,” said Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox! magazine, “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance.  Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”

Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”





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Gingerfightback can end the speculation. In a few weeks time Princess Kate will soon give birth.


As Royal watcher Lemuel Four-By-Two exclaimed, “This is remarkable news, whilst at the same time slightly disappointing. Kate is so much better, nicer, cleaner and clevererererer than anybody else,  I thought she would have produced at least a planet with a species akin to mankind sitting at the apex of its evolution.  Still can’t have everything. Wanna buy a towel?”

Even nutty Prince Charles thought this was going to happen so he donned a sausage on his royal bonce in order to greet the leader of the Katen peoples.

“Apparently they love a banger, free range and organic naturally,” The Prince told a flunkey.

charles copy

And Queenie herself had adopted the traditional garb of the “Little Green People.”

"Top Of One's Morning To One"

“Top Of One’s Morning To One”

Lavinia Wet-Wipe, National Secretary of Kate Is Great said, “That girl could flog me one of her farts and then light it in front of me. I’d still be delighted. Whatever she does it is brilliant. And if you don’t agree I’ll cut yer knackers off. God Save The Queen!”

What A Glorious Day That Was

God Bless 'em!

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We at Gingerfightback are thrilled to announce that Kate stood yesterday! Yes! That’s right – Stood!

As Royal watcher Dapne Cheese n’Pickle told Gfb, “She is a remarkable women. The ability to stand is so rare these days. Kate is exceptional.”

Bob Growth, Secretary of the National Standing Society, told Gfb, “Kate will put standing on the map once more. We won’t take this sitting down!” But there were less kind words from Lavinia Wet-Wipe, National Organiser for The Sitting Society who told us, “This will put the cause of sitting back many years. Already we are getting reports of Children standing for no reason! We have to stand up for sitting!”

What A Glorious Day That Was

What A Glorious Day That Was

When we revealed that the Duchess of Lovely Pure Virginity Unsullied By Carnal Desires Of Man Or Beast was a member of the Cobra Kingfisher Singh Viper Assassination Hit Squad, the ultra-secret ginger ninja hit team. So the revelation that she can stand, WITHOUT THE AID OF A SERF  will just cause a sensation around the world! And worry a lot of swarthy oreigner types.

She’s Great!

God Bless 'em!


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God Bless 'em!

God Bless ’em!

We at Gingerfightback are committed Royalists and are as thrilled as everybody else with the news that our Kate is pregnant with the future King or Queen of Blighty. As Royal Watcher Tiggy Winkle-Harumph told Gfb, “She is a remarkable women. We can now add fecundity to her list of achievements!”

What A Glorious Day That Was

There was shock, nay outcry when we revealed that the Duchess of Lovely Pure Virginity Unsullied By Carnal Desires Of Man Or Beast was a member of the Cobra Kingfisher Singh Viper Assassination Hit Squad, the ultra-secret ginger ninja hit team.


And now we can reveal her pregnancy bloom for the first time!


Get ready for lots more of this too………

Santa Maria - The Likeness Is Uncanny!

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Details have emerged recently that Our Kate may be part of the ultra secret Ginger Ninja Cobra Kingfisher Singh Viper Assassination Hit Squad (Sponsored by American Express).

A Radiant Princess

The shadowy outfit have been linked to the deaths of among others, Saddam Hussein, Colonel Gaddafi, Osama Bin Laden, Charlie Sheen’s career and are also believed to have been behind the shooting of JR Ewing and Bambi’s mum.

Is This Kate As A Ginger Ninja?

Kate, who recently collected flowers from children using both hands, has been secretly training with the secretive squad in secret in a secret place near Berlin.

As we pointed out a month or so ago, Kate has also undertaken some rather nifty genetic engineering to improve the performance of Sea Horses. We believe these animals form the infamous Sea Horse Death Viperhead Squadron. Deadly when offered a carrot or sugar lump.

The Sea Horse Death Viperhead Squadron In Action

To further confuse their targets the ninjas hum songs from the classic musical Oliver, with “Food! Glorious Food!” having a remarkable 89% hit rate.

Colonel Idris Deckchair, former commander of the black Ops outfit commented, “It wouldn’t surprise me. I once saw Kate talk to poor people at a community centre in Melbourne. She showed no fear talking to these people. If she can do that, she can do anything.” He then tried to throttle Gfb’s reporter before turning into a tea towel and making good his escape.

As the photo below shows, Kate is a master of disguise. Who would have thought!

Kill Bill?

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It was only a few months ago that Kate tied the knot with Wills. But more details of  Kate’s wonderfulnessnessness are emerging.

Our Kate

She recently invented the one prong pitch fork and as the picture below reveals, Kate has undertaken some rather nifty genetic engineering to improve the performance of Sea Horses.

Tiggy Frumpington-Bumlick, keeper of the Royal Ruler commented, “It just shows what a great gal Kate is, although Princess Anne is none too pleased.”

Kate's Redesigned Sea Horse

“Naff Orff!” Anne said to Gfb’s correspondent. But as our hardest working Royal we will let her off this time. Why only yesterday she talked to people who stood in line to meet her.

Such has been Kate’s impact on the animal kingdom that a colony of fruit bats in Mexico have become diurnal just to improve their chance of catching a glimpse of her sometime in the future.

Kate’s sister, Piggyinthe Middleton has set up a TV company, Kate Is Great Productions. Three documentaries about Kate are currently in production. “Wills I Love You Even Though You Are Prematurely Bald” and “Kate – The Heroin Years” have already in the can. The third film “Kate – How the Universe Was Created” is in pre-production.

It is this film which is causing a stir amongst egg-heads, with Kate controversially postulating her theory that the Universe was created during the development of household cleaning products in a galaxy far far away.

This Cillit Bang Theory has been labelled extraordinary by Prof Eric Tanline.

She also claims to know what lies beyond the Universe and has ingeniously labelled it “Stuff”.

Can’t wait for her to be Queenie.

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