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Posts Tagged ‘Kate and Wills’

Prince Randy Andy’s reputation was given another kicking today when his unfaithful, adulterous, toe-suckee former wife Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson spoke up for the Duke of Golf.

No Suprises There!

Fergie and Andy In Happier Times

She spoke to reporters Monday in Verbier in the Swiss Alps, “The York family is a tight unit. We’ve always been a tight unit.He is the greatest man there is. It was the finest moment of my life in 1986 when I married him. He is a great man, the best in the world.”

Fergie divorced “the best man in the world” many many years ago.

Fergie also told a pal, “Jeez the things I have to say to keep the moolah rolling in from him and to keep my name in with the Yanks. He’s the intelligence of an egg whisk. Squeezing boils was more fun than listening to him prattle on about his sand game. The Twat.”

kate_baby_beard

Fragrant and Hirsute – The Perfect Combo

Prince Charles has asked Prince William to chivvy along her Royal Fragrance and loveliness Our Kate and squeeze out the second sprog.

Lord Sidney Itch, Purveyor to the Royal Rash, told Gfb’s Daphne Kerplunk, “Chuck’s going fucking bonkers on this one. He reckons if Kate can give birth, preferably at the live final of Britain’s Got Talent in a few weeks time , it will take the pressure of Randy Andy and not threaten Chuck’s chances of getting his greasy little mitts on Mama’s orb and sceptre.”

charles chinstrap copy

Worried

 

 

 

 

 

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We may be a bit late but Happy Birthday to our future King! On bended knee we salute thee……

Nice to see the goatee coming on and the hillbilly look beginning to take shape…..

george copy

 

Baby Prince George, is of course the fruit of sexual intercourse between our Kate and Wills,

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The Bearded Prince

Miranda Soup-Slurper, Royal Correspondent for It’s Bollox magazine said,  “I still can’t believe that Kate has had sexual intercourse, such is her fragrant fragrance.  Also royal babies come from a place much more shiny and lovely than the Earth. My guess is a planet made of cuddles and souvenir tea towels.”

Phillip Utopian-Fallopian, keeper of the Royal Sock, told GFB, “Ms Soup-Slurper is wrong. Prince George came from Waitrose along with a free cup of coffee.”

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Beardy_Kate

 

 

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Hello

I was at the Doctor’s this morning getting my rash looked at. As usual I had to wait ages. Shirley’s broccoli and cauliflower bake from last night was knocking at the door, so I folded a copy of Hello! under me arm and paid a visit to the facilities (fully adapted for disabled users I am glad to say although the seat was a bit wonky).

In Hello! there was a photo of Princess Kate holding her hat on her head because it was windy. Lovely teeth too. Clean and everything. All her own I’ll wager. That’s why Wills fell for her. Hat control and a good set of gnashers. What more does Royalty need?

Perhaps the capacity to put gloves on. But apart from that?

I like a woman in a hat. Classy. Not balaclavas though – that is just sick. Makes me shudder just thinking about it.

Laters

Bob

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Hello Folks!
You may have heard today about the elderly parishioner in Spain who attempted to restore a prized Jesus Christ fresco.

Ecce Homo (Behold the Man) by Elias Garcia Martinez has held pride of place in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza for more than 100 years.

Cecilia Giminez took her brush to it and did what can only be described as a not particularly good job!

An official declared, “The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic.”

Oh Dear! What’s To Be Done?

Step Forward Gfb’s arts expert Brian Sewer and his mates from The Struggling Monkey free house, Al Fresco and Al Dente.

We whisked them out to Zaragoza to carry out urgent repairs to the work and the results are spectacular!

Good As New!

“We don’t want paying, we are just glad to help,” muttered Al Fresco, “What’s yer poison?”

Does the Original remind you of anyone? That’s Right – The Princess Bride Herself – Our Kate!

Santa Maria! Could It Be True?

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