Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Insurance policy’

Art experts were left agog this morning when it was discovered that Millais’ masterpiece “Ophelia” has become “Ophelia With Muzzy” to honour Movember.

“By the excretions of Queen Victoria I’m amazed! Astounded!” cried retired civil servant, John Wobbler who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat on Thanksgiving Day.Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

john_everett_millais_ophelia_resized copy

 

Read Full Post »

Art experts were left agog this morning when it was discovered that Pablo Picasso’s masterpiece “Tete La Femme” has become “Tete La Femme Avec Une ‘Airy Lip” to honour Movember.

“By the groin of General Franco I’m amazed! Astounded!” cried retired civil servant, Fernando Torres who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat. Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

oil-painting-tete-de-femme-by-spanish-painter-pablo-picasso-7433141 copy

Here is an image of Picasso smoking some fish fingers.

Read Full Post »

Hello Folks,

As the Amsterdam hangover fades, Gingerfightback continues to leave no stone unturned in our incessant quest for the truth. Fearless reporting, bribery and fabrication are in our armoury.

Brian Sewer, plummy mouthed onanist,found this version of the Mona Lisa in Arles in Southern France.  It has been carbon dated back as far as 1967 and the canvass is an authentic Cornflakes cereal packet. This is how Da Vinci Code really wanted his painting to end up.

As Brain said, “Note the brushwork, the enigmatic smile on her lips and above all the signature that rearranged, would spell Da Vinci.  It has to be authentic. I rest my case. Where’s the bar?”

What do YOU think art connoisseurs? FAKE or REAL?

 

Read Full Post »

Art experts were left agog this morning when it was discovered that Veremeer’s masterpiece had sprouted a ginger moustache to honour Movember.

“I’m amazed! Astounded! It’s Fan-tache-tic!” cried retired civil servant, Wim Van Anagram who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat. Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

Vermeer_The_Girl_With_The_Pearl_Earring_(1665) copy

Read Full Post »

Moscow awoke this morning to the sight of St Basil’s Cathedral sporting a ginger moustache in honour of Movember.

“Kick me in the gulags!” cried retired civil servant, Boris Serzhinsky who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat. Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

st basils copy

Read Full Post »

The great nation of India awoke this morning to the sight of its most famous building has grown a moustache to honour Movember.

“By all that is holy and upon Sachin Tendulkars’s test record I am agog,” declared retired civil servant Mahindra Dhoni as he walked to the baker’s to buy his cat some fish. Without success. As an insurance policy he visited the bank. Again without success.

taj mahal copy

The Tache Mahal?

Read Full Post »

Sim Salabim!

Egypt’s famous Great Pyramid has grown a moustache to honour Movember.

“Eye of a camel, son of a she-wolf! Is this the work of the secret Brotherhood of Male Grooming?” declared retired civil servant Ali Hassan as he waked to the baker’s to buy his cat some fish. Without success. As an insurance policy he visited the bank. Again without success.

pyramid tache

Read Full Post »

Hello

I was visiting my Nan yesterday to check on her taps. Apparently they were dripping.

She’s great my Nan. 128 smokes 40 a day, drinks her share and swears like a Scaffolder with piles.

Through the fug of cigarette smoke I found her sitting in her chair (the special one that tips up and vibrates -“me only pleasure now that Norman has gorn” as she puts it) watching a spot of daytime telly. I think it was “Bodies For Cash In The Attic” or something.

Shirley’s 5 bean chilli worked its magic and before I could display my DIY acumen, I needed the facilities. I took The Sun up with me and had a go at the Crossword. The coffee break one. 6 hours later I still had only got three answers (Egg, Tea and Roy Keane if you want to know).

Nan wasn’t too happy when I couldn’t fix her taps.

“Useless twat,” she called me, coughed a chesty smoker’s cough and brought up a gobful of phlegm which landed on me Reeboks.

Bit harsh I thought.

Laters

Bob

Read Full Post »

Bong!

Bong!

London awoke this morning to the site of world famous clock, Big “The Beast” Ben sprouting a glorious moustache.

Agog at the sight, retired civil servant Geoffrey Pike said, “Is it real or a stick on one? I blame the French,” before walking to the baker’s to buy his cat some fish. Without success. As an insurance policy he tried the bank. Again with no success.

big ben copy

Read Full Post »

Gee Junior!

Looks like the home of The President of Th USA has grown a giant ginger moustache to honour Movember!

“Wooooooooo!” Exclaimed Peyton Place III Jr as he skateboarded to the baker’s to buy his pet cat some fish. Without success. So he  visited an insurance broker again with no success!

The-White-House copy

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts