Filthy Sea Shanty Time!

 

We love the life of a Jolly Jack Tar.  Nothing better than a day unfurling a spanker or two and gazing up into the mizzen mast and worrying about the Doldrums.

Whilst up aft for’d we pass the time by singing a shanty.

Here are a few we croon;

• Me Auld Girl’s Blowhole
• Johnny’s Tinkler Is Inflamed
• After 3 Years At Sea Duncan Is Now Dorothy
• I’ve Been Bent Over A Barrel or 2
• Tug Me Rope
• When I Rub Me Barnacles I’m Thinking Of Me Jessie
• Blow Me Back To Blighty On A Good Stiff ‘Un
• Lord Nelson Swung Both Ways

Anyway the west wind blows fare – so adieu me hearties – sing along to this classic!

 

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More Filthy Sea Shantys! – With Hermione Moist

Hello,

Grandpa Fightback swore that a good Shanty a day kept the hemorrhoids at bay. He lived to 105 and was never afflicted by the Chalfont Saint Giles.

GFB’s Folk and ancient lore expert Hermione Moist, rummaged in her backyard and found an old album by Toke Townley and The Tuggers, “Hand Shantys By The Shore With Sweet Deliza”.  The titles alone heave us windward into the salty spray as the Whaler hoves out of Nantucket;

There’s a Narwhal up me grapper.
I’ve been bent over a Barrel or two.
Have you dandled on Nelson’s Column?
They lowered her on me and Mary Rose.
There’s a cabin boy in me quarters.
Captain Sparrow’s marrow.
There’s never a gay pirate when you need a boost.

Here is a classic Shanty – Featured in Jaws so it has to be good!

 

 

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Sea Shanty’s To Sing!

 

We love the life of a Jolly Jack Tar.  Nothing better than a day in the rigging, unfurling a spanker or two and gazing up into the mizzen mast and worrying about the Doldrums. Whilst up aft for’d we pass the time by singing a few sea shantys. Here are a few we croon;

• There’s A Maiden With Scurvy Waitin’ For Me In Nantucket
• Break Out The Grog For Johnny’s Tinkle
• I’m Not Chesty Nancy Just Got A Touch O’Consumption
• That’s Not A Whale In Me Pocket Mary, I’m Just Pleased To See Ye
• Tickle Me Tackle Nancy
• Tug Me Rope
• When I Rub Me Barnacles I’m Thinking Of Me Molly
• Blow Me Back To Blighty Gerty On A Good Stiff ‘Un
• Sweet Judie’s Given Me Crabs

Anyway the west wind blows fare – so adieu me hearties – sing along to this classic!

 

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Weekends – By Hermione Moist

This week, Hermione re-imagines a traditional English folk tale;

 

As I was going to Strawberry Fair

Singing, singing buttercups and daisies

I met a maiden selling her wares, Fol de dee!

Her eyes were blue and ginger her hair

It was all a bit Laura Ashley for my liking

And that’s not her natural colour if you ask me

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Simon Cowell’s No Direction Release New Single!

Britain’s top Boy Band, No Direction, have revealed to Gfb that their new single  “Energy Price Rise Hike Stomp (The Freeze To Death Remix) is set to top the Charts.

The band, currently in Manchester evicting disabled people from their homes, are confident that their new folky sound will win over new fans. As David “Cotswold Bladder” Cameron explained, “We love Mumford and Sons, waistcoats, beards and banjos! So it is Hey nonny nonny ja ja nonny – old chap! Shoot that serf please Fotheringham.  Stoke the Aga as well.”

The Boys Show Orf Their Dance Routine

The band’s spokesman George “Charlie Up De ‘Ooter” Osborne, said “We are really excited about this single. It’s really ballsy. Not like that fat prole Ed Balls though. I hate him. He smells. And he’s fat. Wanna buy a nuclear power station?”

The band’s manager Simon Cowell, who recently calmed the Oceans by raising his right eyebrow was quoted as  saying “My pants are full of poo such is my excitement around this single. Must go, The Dalai Lama needs some advice on inner peace.”

 

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Somebody Asked To See The Pogues Shane McGowan In Riverdance Image Again…..

Somebody asked to see the Shane McGowan dancing in Riverdance image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the Gibbon playing a banjo image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

Somebody has asked to see the Einstein with a Col Au Vent Image again – as always happy to oblige! Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige! Someboday has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

A Sad End To A Great Career

Somebody has asked to see the Leonardo Da Vinci wearing a yorkshire pudding on his head image again – as always happy to oblige!

The Da Vinci – A Batter Design

Somebody has asked to see the Steve McQueen Great Escape image again – as always happy to oblige !

Chinstrap!

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

During His Fish Period

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