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Posts Tagged ‘Film’

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Yes – he leaves an indent in the earth later….

Hello,

Road Runner and his useless nemesis Wile E Coyote is on one hand a slapstick frenzy of explosion and cliff running offness but on another level is a much darker treatise on the human condition and reckless obsession.

Little surprise then that it was requested by ever inventive and insightful blogger Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge whose beautifully crafted words you can find HERE!

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Yes – It blows up in his face later….

But sadly poor ol’ Wile E always ends up running off a cliff……….

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If This Ain’t a Metaphor For Modern Life I Don’t Know What Is

 

IS THERE ANYTHING OR ANYONE YOU WOULD LIKE A SAUSAGE TO BE APPLIED TO?

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Hello

This week’s request comes from the Debra Fetterly and her wonderful Breathe Lighter site which you can find here!

Chim, chimerney, chim chimerney, chim chim cheroo…….

Here is fabled Nanny, Mary Poppins arriving in her unique way. As the song goes “Superbanger……etc…etc” (Couldn’t think of anything to be honest).

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IS THERE ANYONE OR ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE A SAUSAGE ADDED TO?

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Hello,

Here is the next request. Master sleuth, smackhead, fiddler and right cleverdick Sherlock Holmes as requested by the brilliant  Hacker.Hinja.Hooker.Spy. Her site is well worth checking out HERE!

Here is Sir Arthur Conan Boil’s creation in a variety of guises, starting with lovely  Benedict Cumberland….in, “The Case Of The Missing Meat Product.”

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“Mmmm…..where did I mislay my sausage?”

Of course Ironman, recovering smackhead and all round bon viveur, Bobby Downey Jr donned the old deerstalker in a couple of outings as the fabled detective and here he is consulting his astro-sausage to find the nearest crack den, from “The Case Of The Missing Meat Product.”

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“I think my head is going to fall off Holmes”

Not to be outdone by these arrivistes, our very own Great British Ham, Michael Caine brought a new subtlety to the role is this thankfully over looked version of, “The Case Of The Missing Meat Product”.

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“Who thought a pasty magnifier would work?”

As the great man would have said “Elemental Dear Watson, Elemental.”

IS THERE ANYTHING OR ANYONE YOU WOULD LIKE A SAUSAGE TO BE APPLIED TO?

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Hello!

The marvellous Jamie Deedes asked to see a horse garlanded with a sausage.

You can find Jamie’s site  here  it is stunning.

We put our thinking caps on………Horses……….Famous Horses………Trojan Horse!

You’d have thought The Trojans would have smelled something fishy when this bad boy trundled through the city gates but apparently not.

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Beware Of Greeks Bearing Frankfurters

Even more so when Brad, strolling around as Achilles in the Turkey that was “Troy” wore a pork and herb sausage on his bonce for much of the film.

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Was The Sausage His Achilles Heel?

IS THERE ANYONE OR ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE ADORNED BY A SAUSAGE?

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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

We have a Sale on at the moment.

Here are reviews of some of my favourite bits of “Art”.

1. Painting

Autumn Rhythm – One of Jackson Pollock’s most famous. I don’t have a clue either.

2. Movies

Dances With Wolves – Don’t Dance With Wolves. They will eat you. Great car chase and the underwater fight scenes are wonderful. Who will ever forget Whitney Houston’s theme tune? Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Beyonce – I Am Sasha Fierce  – I love Beyonce. She screeches and warbles better than anyone I know – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

The Times Atlas Of The World – Got this for Christmas! Maps spelt backwards is Spam. Now there’s a thought. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Postman

Whoever stole his rubber band ball (10 years in the making) could they please return it. He was only four short of the world rubber band collection set by Magnus Fleischer, inventor of the buttoneer, in Hamburg in the 1960’s.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Damian Lewis

damien lewis

Posh English Actor who made his name is American TV Blockbusters such as Band of Brothers and Homeland.

Recently spotted Hobbit bothering and Wizard baiting.

He is in discussions with Paramount to play the role of Huggy Tufty-Bumlick-Bear in the re-remake of 70’s cop classic Starsky and Hutch, in the style of Downton Abbey.

“I say old bean, top hole or what? The word on the boulevards is that this Huggy chap, c’est moi by the by, is hearing bad vibrations that plenty of hot weather is to be laid down in the off licence on 3rd and 4th just of East 29th. Toodle pip.” Damian has a flat cap that is just perfect for the role.

He has pimped his Butler in order to immerse himself in the role. Not in that way you understand.

Some things you may not know about Damian;

  • He has won “Turtle Neck Jumper Wearer Of The Year” more times than anyone (more than even Pierce Brosnan or Michael Keaton!)
  • He loves Sir Ian McKellen!
  • He dated a full length body mirror for two years, claiming it was the most satisfying relationship of his life

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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Play

Romeo and Juliet – He loveth her, she loveth him. The families don’t get oneth. They both dieth.

“Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou?”

“Over here.”

Goes on a biteth.

2. Movies

Gladiator – Antipodean Roman General becomes a slave, cleaves a lot, discovers hair gel, chest shaving and eyeliner before “Echoing In Eternity” (whatever that means) – Goes on a bittus.

3. Televsion

Downton Abbey – I prefer Oily George’s adult version, Down On Abbey. Now has fewer ratings than HMS Victory. God awful dross. goes on forever.

4. Literature

The Naked Lunch – William Burroughs classic slice of Smack Lit. I ate my lunch naked once. Bowl of soup and a crusty roll. Crumbs everywhere. Soup was nice though.

Village News

The William Shatner look-a-like competition was won by Anthea who works on the frozen foods in Spar. Big fan of Shatner during the TJ Hooker years apparently.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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He has more Oscars than you can shake a stick at and is an exponent of Conker Fung Du, the Cornish martial art that encompasses kickboxing and conkers. Daniel Day Lewis.

We caught up with DDL whilst he was lobbing a stick into his favourite horse chestnut tree to find a few conkers to take home, bake, soak in vinegar and allow to harden in the oven afterwards.

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GFB; Daniel, thanks for sparing the time in your hectic schedule to speak to us.

DDL; (Holding a knotted shoe lace with a conker threaded onto it)  Obbly Onker My First Conker!

GFB; Sorry?

DDL; Watch out, this bad boy is a Twelver!

GFB; Oh Right – can we talk about your new fi-

DDL; STAMPS! I win! Thirteener now!

GFB; Jeez that must a be a great conker Daniel. I only ever had a threeer and then Kevin Keating stamped on it.

DDL; This is the best conker I’ve ever had – It is the Olivier of Conkers.  Not that Sir Larry wasn’t a great actor of course, nearly as good as me. All I’ll say is, “Look at the Oscars laddio – who is the Daddy now eh? eh?”

GFB; Fascinating Daniel, as we would expect from such a great thespian as you.

DDL; Natch.

GFB; Your new movie role

DDL; The Life Of Flann O’Brien?

GFB; Yes.

DDL; One of the greats of Irish Literature, proper absurdist and Metafictionist type – As you know I inhabit the character I portray at all times during the filmic process – Mind heads! (Daniel launches a shillelagh into the tree and is disappointed not to dislodge a conker)

DDL; Bastard!

GFB; Come again?

DDL; The conker – I can’t get it down.

GFB; Shame – I’m sure you will get it eventually.

DDL; Yes – I shall, failing all else I will blast the bastard out with me Last Of The Mohicans musket – dead eyed dick I was by the time filming was over – could shoot a fart from three miles.

GFB; Impressive, now about your fil –

DDL; Sorry, the film, yes, Flann O’Brien – I have worn this Flan on my head for three years to understand him a bit more.

GFB; Has it worked?

DDL; No. Flan only has one N and Flann had two N’s in it. The Fecker. If he had been Quiche O’Brien I would have been onto a winner – all I have gleaned is an appreciation for pastry based savoury snacks.

GFB; Thanks for you time Daniel.

DDL; Not at all. Fancy another game of conkers?

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Yes!

spiderman copySuch Balance!

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Yes!

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