Train Travel Tales #10 – The Pedicure

It is always nice to see a man who takes pride in his appearance. My fellow passenger handled the worn Pumice stone with delicacy and no little dexterity. The exfoliation of his feet began on the outskirts of Swindon.

Rubbed Nirvana was achieved as we rolled into Reading.

He admired his handiwork as far as Slough and then refitted the black knee length socks which had been so carefully removed twenty five minutes earlier. The socks clamped with elastic elation around his hairy calves.

His shoes needed a polish. But I didn’t feel in a position to tell him.

Read Full Post »

Obama Leads Birthday Tributes To Ali

A Fringe Character

President Obama led warm birthday tributes to Mohammad Ali who has turned Seventy today.

The President, sporting an exciting new Ginger hair style for the event, offered a warm appreciation of the life and struggle of The Greatest and particularly emphasised the role Ali performed in promoting the use of Chickens in Sport.

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

The President told Gfb’s lead reported Tanktop McBain, “Ali brought so much to The United States, but I wish to pay particular gratitude for his natty line in chicken headgear. He blazed a trial for I and millions of others to wear inappropriate headwear in public. We owe him a great debt. Do you like my new look? Nifty isn’t it. Michelle loves it.  She thinks it shows off my soft downy eyelashes.”

Whilst we like the look, we can’t help but feel it bears a striking resemblance to his arch nemesis and doyen of the Pea Tarty. Whaddya think?

Read Full Post »