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Posts Tagged ‘Fanny Craddock’

My Dearest food lovers. I remain in prison in Nice, awaiting sentence for truffle smuggling. My appeal has fallen on deaf ears it would appear although it would my truffle remains highly prized by La Randy Prison Gouveneur! Which naturally leads to a question about sprouts.

Joyeux Noel to you all.
Le Fanny Rougecrack
Dear Fanny,

Sprouts Fanny, sprouts? Why oh why?

On what’s supposed to be the happiest day of the year, why do we have to sit with a steaming mash of stinking green sludge on the dinner table? We never eat them any other time of the year. By the smells emanating from our dog during The Queen’s Speech, he’s the only one in the family who eats them.

Can you let me know how to jazz them up a bit.

Mary, Bromsgrove.
Dearest Mary,

Ever since I was force fed them as a little boy, I’ve had nightmares about the horrid little things. But all is not lost my dear. For I have created a recipe that will have the whole family crying out for seconds!

Using a food processor, finely slice your sprouts and set aside.

Add a little olive oil to a hot pan and add some smoked diced bacon.

Fry until the bacon is crispy and remove from the pan.

Tip away any excess fat.

Add chopped shallots, half a glass of dry white wine to the sprouts and chuck in the frying pan.

Simmer for a few minutes then add a half pint of chicken stock.

Simmer for a further 6 minutes.

Stir in a tablespoon of creme fraiche, add the bacon and serve.

Delicious!

Les Miserables Fanny (Hugh Jackman! What a dish!)

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Dear Fanny,

My husband has taken to eating his own toe-nails and belly button fluff. When I finally discovered his dirty little secret and confronted him, he confessed that this had been going on ever since I discovered the diet book ” Ooh, you are offal, but I like you” by Seamus McButter.

I feel betrayed! Little did I know that he’d been giving his tripe porridge, testicle broth and roast pig’s spleen to the dog. No wonder it looks so pleased with itself.

Please help!

Doris, Suffolk.

 

Dear Doris.

What an ungrateful fool he is! He would need to eat the entire toe-nail clippage of the population of Wales to get the equivalent calcium content of a fried kidney.

Incidently, during my recent appearance on “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here” I tried a Possum’s penis for the first time. And delicious it was! One of the presenters Ant or Dec, thought it rather hilarious.

So my dear may I encourage you to continue with your offal only diet by sending this marvellous French classic recipe of Devilled Kidneys on toast.

 

6 lambs kidneys (trimmed)

A large knob of butter

A spoon of plain flour mixed with a large pinch of paprika and a smidgeon of salt.

2 spoons of crème fraiche

1 spoon of Dijon mustard

A few drops of Worcestershire sauce

 

Coat the kidneys in the flour mixture. Melt the butter in a non stick pan and fry the kidneys for 2-3 minutes each side. Add a splash of W’shire sauce, the Dijon mustard and the crème fraiche.

Pile the kidneys onto hot buttered toast and serve with a large glass of Chianti. Et voila.

A cheap, nutritious, tasty meal for all the family, including the dog, to enjoy!

 

Le Fannoir!

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My Dearest food lovers. I remain in prison in Nice, awaiting sentence for truffle smuggling. My appeal has fallen on deaf ears it would appear although it would my truffle remains highly prized by La Randy Prison Gouveneur! Which naturally leads to a question about sprouts.

Joyeux Noel to you all.
Le Fanny Rougecrack
Dear Fanny,

Sprouts Fanny, sprouts? Why oh why?

On what’s supposed to be the happiest day of the year, why do we have to sit with a steaming mash of stinking green sludge on the dinner table? We never eat them any other time of the year. By the smells emanating from our dog during The Queen’s Speech, he’s the only one in the family who eats them.

Can you let me know how to jazz them up a bit.

Mary, Bromsgrove.
Dearest Mary,

Ever since I was force fed them as a little boy, I’ve had nightmares about the horrid little things. But all is not lost my dear. For I have created a recipe that will have the whole family crying out for seconds!

Using a food processor, finely slice your sprouts and set aside.

Add a little olive oil to a hot pan and add some smoked diced bacon.

Fry until the bacon is crispy and remove from the pan.

Tip away any excess fat.

Add chopped shallots, half a glass of dry white wine to the sprouts and chuck in the frying pan.

Simmer for a few minutes then add a half pint of chicken stock.

Simmer for a further 6 minutes.

Stir in a tablespoon of creme fraiche, add the bacon and serve.

Delicious!

Les Miserables Fanny (Hugh Jackman! What a dish!)

Read Full Post »