Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Gfb has trawled the records of literally people and discovered some amazing connections which will truly astound you.

So without further ado – ARE THESE PEOPLE RELATED?

Michael Collins and Jackie Collins.

He was the gorgeous face of Republicanism a man who took on and defeated the British Empire, went out with Julia Roberts. And then got shot.

Michael and Julia together - before he was shot

She is the Queen of the Bonkbuster, sister of Joan and can write big words as well as little ones. Her new novel “A Woman Off Substances” is out this week.

Did you know that the Irish Constitution has a torrid sex scene in it (halfway down page 3 after voting rights for non domiciles) involving a woman called Lucky Chance and a hairy chested rock musician called Stryker Malone.

Did Big Mick ask Jackie C to write this section as he thought a bit of rumpy pumpy would lighten the spirits of repressed Catholics across the land? If true, it proves they were related. Uncanny isn’t it!

 Emile Zola and Gianfranco Zola

He is the great French novelist, whose works include The Earth, Germinal, Therese Raquin, Tin Tin, Asterix, the screenplay of Amelie and the words to Frere Jacques.

Don’t Make Emile Of It!

He is the impish Italian footballer who hopped, skipped and sashayed his way into our hearts with his tricks, flicks and pixie loveliness. His bestselling book “I  is from Sardinia and I like the Sardines,” is a great guide to cooking sardines.


He’s Only Little!

Did You Know!

Emile Zola invented the penalty spot and centre circle on a football pitch. He wrote, “On Mon Tete Son,” the first published account of a French writer’s lover affair avec le beautiful game.

If true it is Uncanny! Were they related? You Decide!


Jane Austen and Steve Austin (close enough for the pedants out there!)

She is arguably the greatest Romantic novelist in the English Language.

Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Sense and Sensibility – all great reads. Rollicking even. 


He was barely alive. We rebuilt him. He could run so fast it looked like he was in slow motion. His wig never came off too!

With his bionic eye he could see for yonks (once spotting Jane Eyre as she was leaving Mr Rochester some two hundred miles away).



Did You Know?

In the early drafts of Pride and Prejudice, Mr D’Arcy was depicted as a half man half robot with earwax build up.  And the cad Mr Wickham was an astronaut who wrote mournful poetry!

The pilot show for The Six Million Dollar Man, depicted Lee Majors character as a 19th Century Dandy! A Fop if you will! Sadly this ended up on the cutting room floor.

Can they be related? You Decide!

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Hello Folks,

Gfb friend and model Essex man, Lee Healey has recently finished his first story, “Maddie and The Monsters”.

We had a teency weency role in helping Lee put the story together. Having read it today, we can honestly say it is brilliant and kids between 2-6 years of age will love it!

It is available as an App on iTunes from today and for each copy sold a donation will be made to Book Aid International.

Here is the link!


Treat Yourselves!

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Graffiti King To Get Youth Doing Something Useful!


Gfb understands the Coalition Government are ready to name respected graffiti artist Banksy as its new back-to-work Tsar.

The Government move to appoint Banksy is certain to cause more controversy in what is seen as a pivotal role in the battle against worklessness.

Ian Duncan-Spliff, Minister for Work and Pensions and a long-term fan of Street Art, sees Banksy’s appointment as an important way of restoring The Conservative Party’s credibility amongst people they call, young. “Respeck Due Ma Man!” Duncan Spliff is rumoured to have said to Banksy at their first meeting.

IDS – The Rasta Pastor

IDS - No Woman No Cry

There are over 1 million unemployed young people or ‘NUUTS’ – Nonchalant, Unenergetic, Uneducated and Twatted.

A Government source revealed, “Spliff thinks he’s onto a real winner here. Stencils are the way forward as far as the Government are concerned. Getting Banksy on board is the Tory equivalent of Noel Gallagher partying at Number 10 with Blair!”

Banksy himself is said to have major plans for getting intergenerational workless families back into employment, including the creation of ‘job bastards’ who will stencil the phrase ‘get back to work for fuck’s sake’ on the front door of long term Jobseekers Allowance claimants every Monday morning until they are in sustainable employment.

Banksy’s Earliest Brush With Fame

Banksy has come under criticism after winning several contracts to supply Government offices with stencilled murals. The Ministry of Defence have commissioned a Banksy mural of a monkey holding a Sex Toy with the words ‘HAVE IT’ emblazoned underneath.. ‘Yes, it’s a controversial piece of art, but it’s great for morale,’ said one high wanking MOD source.

David Cameron is thrilled at Banksy’s appointment. A source told Gfb, “The PM thinks Banksy’s the man. Anyone that can sell a picture of a kid holding a Tesco’s carrier bag for more than a million quid is doing alright in his opinion.”

PM Cameron is delighted

In a statement, Banksy stencilled a picture of a sausage roll on a doorway in Brixton adorned with the phrase “Sausages have feelings too.’

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