Posts Tagged ‘Dracula’


I am afraid of the dark. As a Vampire this causes issues regarding my work-life balance.

I’ve lost my torch.

Vlad, Bucharest

Oily Replies;

Vlad, I once shot a camp vamp romp in Voslovovitrichbitchstitchvitch.

Early 90’s. Wonderful part of the world. The rolling mountains like a fair maiden’s heaving bosoms. Except with goats on them.

The women were very hairy and manly. May well have been men now I think about it. The alleyway was dark, the local brew strong.

As she tenderly growled she picked me up and threw me over her shoulder assuring me that Igor was a girl’s name in that part of the world. And who was I to argue. Especially with two broken ribs.

As the song goes “Fang Heaven for little girls……..”


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Grab your crosses! Douse yerselves in Holy Water! Loosen The Big Lad’s Bolt With Your Handy Go Anywhere Spanner! Those twin titans of evil wrong doing and macabre jiggery pokery,  Count Dracula and Frankenstein are muzzied up to honour Movember.

“I shat my pants when I saw them!” cried retired civil servant, Laslo Goulash who was on his way to the bakers to buy some fish for his cat. Without success. As an insurance policy he went to the bank to buy some fish. Again without success.

Here’s Drac slurpin’ on the neck of a virgin!

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Here’s Frank being Frank!

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Don’t know about you but I will be sleeping with the light on tonight……….

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