Choosing A Sleeping Bag – By Paul Holland (Again!)

‘A bag with a zip but no baffle

Will be colder than a bag with a zip baffle’.

Well that’s me anyway

Always well baffled

Creaking up the stairs

Now bumping into the furniture

Walking into the corner

The Sharp pointy bit of of a day

Not quite sure where things were left.

To seize on to, to catch

To hold on not to let go

Never worked

The draughts still got in

Twisting and turning in the bag

Caught up in lining

Too warm too cold

A quality bag will have no zip so no need of bafflement.

Cozy too

Hell yeah

Always well baffled

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Look Who Is Wearing Monica Lewinsky’s Dress!

Hello,

With Bill Clinton on the stump, we have unearthed several remarkable photos showing how Monica’s Lewinsky’s dress complete with spill, became haute couture amongst the great and the good a few years ago.

You couldn’t make it up! (But we did) You can see some here! and here!

Is that Mother Theresa wearing Monica’s Dress?

Good God!

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Look Who Is Wearing Monica Lewinsky’s Dress!

Hello,

With Bill Clinton on the stump, we have unearthed several remarkable photos showing how Monica’s Lewinsky’s dress complete with spill, became haute couture amongst the great and the good a few years ago.

You couldn’t make it up! (But we did) You can see yesterday’s here!

Is that Queenie Liz wearing Monica’s Dress?

As Judith Chalmers said at the time,”Her Majesty is particularly suited to this azure print and that little splash of white sets it orf luvverly.”

 

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When Bob’s On The Pot He Likes to Read A Lot (It’s A Man Thing!)

Hello

Shirley’s nut cutlets from last night were causing some discomfort. I was in the vicinity of the Old Dear’s and so decided  to pay her a visit and to use the facilities.

I was checking the football results when I noticed something on my body for the first time. My rash is well known to me, as are a set of moles which in a certain light resemble Chairman Mao (The moles were integral to how I first  managed to chat Shirley up believe it or not).

No, what I noticed was a reddened imprint on my waist caused by my underpants and jeans, whilst my new socks had created a red ring around my calves. The socks were a Christmas present from my Sister. Plenty of snap still in the elastic. quality socks they are.

I think Shirley’s high fibre diet has a few months to run though.

For a moment I felt like a tattooed Polynesian warrior and hummed the theme tune to Hawaii Five-0 to myself.

That all stopped when I read that United had lost.

Laters.

Bob

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